Adam Lovejoy writes: What’s wrong with mobile phone companies? Why on earth do they have to spread their networks over every bloody place in the world?
Now they’re getting ready to launch their operations in the air. Very soon anyone using commercial flights would be able to make calls on their mobiles. One of the last bastions of peace and quiet would be violated by loudmouthed vandals who simply can’t keep their traps shut for anything longer than a minute. Imagine, the moment the plane reaches 3,000 feet the receiver at the back would be turned on and all hell would break loose.
‘It’s me, I’m on a plane,’ some stupid cow would scream into her handset, trying to outshout the roar of the engines. ‘What, what did you say? No, no, don’t be silly, we’re not going to crash. I said, w-e-’r-e n-o-t g-o-i-n-g t-o c-r-a-s-h. We’re allowed to use our phones in flight now.’
‘I can’t hear you properly, Doris, speak up,’ somebody else would be shouting. ‘Speak up, it’s noisy here, you know! What was it you just said?’
This would be the end of flying as we know it. Constant ringing of mobile phones, endless irritating chatter, no chance of concentrating on your book or catching a nap. It’s going to be unbearable. And all because those greedy mobile phone barons want to make more money for themselves.
Mobile phones in the wrong hands can have a devastating effect on everyone around, especially in confined spaces where there’s no chance to escape. More and more people are using their mobiles indiscriminately, with absolutely no regard for others. They pretend to be unaware that their endless loud drivel disturbs and irritates people and they become very aggressive if asked to turn the volume down a bit. It’s my phone and I can speak for as long as I want and as loud as want, they say.
And there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing!
Talking on the mobile has grown into a serious addiction for some people who simply can’t imagine leaving their house without it. Have you noticed how many of them hold on to their mobiles all the time, anxious looks on their faces, desperately hoping that a call would come through at any moment? Life is wasted if no one calls them. What’s the point of existing if there’s no communication made? And when the call finally comes through a whole ritual of answering a mobile phone in a public place takes place.
It starts with a quick glance at the mobile to check who is calling, followed by a slight nod or a faint smile that confirm that the caller is known to the recipient. Then the phone is allowed to ring several times so that the people around could appreciate the funky ring tone. This is an important part of the ritual, by the way, when the owner of the phone is sending out an important message to the world saying that it is, in fact, his or hers mobile that is ringing, that there are people out there who are keen to talk to him or her, that he or she is important and people are keen to talk to them? Finally the call is answered while a discreet glance registers whether anyone has fully appreciated the significance of what has just happened. And then, of course, the meaningless exchange of words commences.
Recently the mobile phone fanatics have been provided with more ammunition to wage war against the rest of the world. It’s now possible to download and listen to music on mobiles through an inbuilt speaker. Now who could have come up with such an idiotic idea in the first place? To allow all those easily pleased music lovers to play their favourite tunes in public?
Anyway, there are only a few months left before the mobile phones invade the privacy of airline passengers. Enjoy your flights while you can. And start thinking about alternative means of travel in the future.
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