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David Cameron Needs To Change His Advisers. They Are Obviously Working For The Other Side

October 23, 2008

David Cameron Needs To Change His Advisers. They Are Obviously Working For The Other SideWho exactly advises Conservative Party leader David Cameron? Because they sure have let him down with their absurd suggestions. I could not believe my ears when Cameron, who is not a stupid man, produced one of the most pathetic performances at PM’s Question Time in the House of Commons on Wednesday, October 22.

Here was Gordon Brown, the worst British Prime Minister in modern times, banging on about some effect of the world financial crisis on Britain’s economy and even having the nerve to lecture the Tory front bench  about the importance of ‘exercising judgement’, hinting at the so-called scandal surrounding non-existent donations to the Tories, supposedly ‘solicited’ by George Osborne, the Shadow Chancellor,  from the Russian oligarch, Oleg Deripaska, and Cameron would not even ask Brown a very simple question: how come Peter Mandelson, who is very close to former Prime Minister Tony Blair and in effect always continued to play a key role in running Labour, has not yet been sacked from cabinet for a gigantic error of judgement? Because Osborne’s so-called ‘sins’ pale into insignificance compared to the ‘mistakes’ committed by Mandelson.

That would have sent Brown on the defensive. Because he knows perfectly well that Mandelson has put Labour in a very tight spot by his strange behaviour while he was Trade Commissioner in Brussels.  

And another thing Cameron should have asked Brown: how come it’s such a big deal when we are talking about a non-existent donation from a Russian billionaire to a political party in opposition – I stress, Conservatives are in opposition and don’t decide anything – and how come it can be even compared to one of the leading Labour figures, now a cabinet minister, Mandelson, mixing with that same oligarch and with other big boys? Because I’m really astonished that no one among Conservatives has raised this issue. It is a crucial issue, by the way. It sort of changes the whole perception of the things that are happening now.

I’ve heard that there is some mysterious figure consulting Cameron, a man with a PR background, who always wears casual clothes, shaves his hair and doesn’t wash regularly or something. So in effect we can deduce that the leader of the Conservative Party is advised by a left-winger, because a man with conservative views would never allows himself to wear jeans at a party conference, for example. So this man, who avoids being photographed by journalists – I wonder why that would be? – has a lot of influence on Cameron and tells him what to do.

Interesting, very interesting. I wonder whether it would be the reason why everyone is saying that Cameron is no different from Blair? And I wonder whether that mysterious man with a shaved head had not suggested to Cameron that he should model himself on Blair and even say stupid things like: ‘Oh, I wish I could be like Blair.’

Because Blair was not popular for long. He had managed to deceive both Labour and Conservatives, being none of those, and simply do everything possible to stay in power. He had no political views, none at all. He was a man with a huge inferiority complex – just look at his wife – who was terrified of being found out from the day he moved into 10 Downing Street. Many people saw through him way back in 1997, especially after he produced that disgraceful performance in response to the tragic death of Princess Diana. Remember that embarrassment when Blair, voice breaking and hands clasped in front – a sure sign of a pathological liar – called Diana ‘a people’s princesses? Remember that day? To call a princess ‘a people’s princess’ is like saying about any woman: she is a devoted wife and a hooker. It would be a contradiction in terms.

But Blair was not bright enough to understand that. He was cunning and evil, but he wasn’t bright. He’d heard Diana calling herself a people’s princess once and thought it would go down well with the ‘ordinary people’.

I heard a wonderful joke from one comedian, who is planning to help me launch my new comic website, Stirring Trouble Everywhere, who said about Blair: If he really wanted to leave while being still popular he should have gone in 1997.

Not bad, eh? And that’s the sort of guy who’ll be writing for me. By the way, he came up with another brilliant line: ‘Receding hairline? Can’t get it up anymore? You need an Austen Martin.’

But I digress, as the gynaecologist said to the woman patient, zipping up his trousers. What I’m saying here is that Cameron should stop listening to his current advisors. They are no good. I even think that they might be working for the other side. He should sack them and get some serious people on board. Because the General Election is approaching fast and he needs to get his act together before that.

If, by some miracle, I would be asked by Cameron to advise him – in my capacity as someone who pulled of a spectacular stunt in 1995 and 1996 and got President Boris Yeltsin’s popularity from 3 per cent to around 40 per cent – I would tell him to sack Osborne immediately. Because what was he doing by hanging out with Mandelson in Corfu in the first place? And how on earth did he end up attending the meeting of the Bilderberg Group earlier this year with the same Mandelson. What is this: a friendship, a love affair, a political alliance? Has Osborne any sense of reality or does he think in exactly the same way as he looks?

Out with him, immediately, I would tell Cameron. He is a liability. And I would suggest dropping several other people from the front bench, like Michael Gove and Theresa May. And I would allow William Hague to step down with dignity, because you don’t – I repeat – you don’t have somebody on the front bench who has presided over a landslide defeat of the party. He may be a good man, but he produces the wrong kind of image.

And I would also suggest to seriously cautioning Boris Johnson, the Conservative Mayor of London, against announcing his support for Barrack Obama in the future, because, I would ask, what happens if Obama loses? How are we going to explain to John McCain that our Conservative Mayor has voiced his support for Obama?

And another thing I would suggest: reinstated David Davis as Shadow Home Secretary. Immediately! He would strike fear into the party in government.

As regards the scandal with the donations from Deripaska I would suggest to keep cool. There will be soon more revelations coming. In fact, already another Russian oligarch has been mentioned, a competitor of Deripaska, who seems to have been granted permanent stay in Britain with remarkable ease.

I wonder how that happened?

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One Response to “David Cameron Needs To Change His Advisers. They Are Obviously Working For The Other Side”

  1. Jack Ross on October 23rd, 2008 11:18 pm

    Alexander, fantastic work, keep it up, question? who grassed on Osborne ? I get a wiff of the prince of darkness, what do you think ? Is the sleazeball trying to deflect the media’s attention from him ? Just a thought, regards, Jack

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