We Announce A Competition With Money Prizes. For Readers Who Get Their Post Regularly

November 19, 2008

We Announce A Competition With Money Prizes. For Readers Who Get Their Post RegularlyToday, dear readers, we announce a competition on Stirring Trouble for the best humorous comment on any of the articles that we post on our website. In no more than 500 words, please. In fact, the fewer words, the better. For as it was once said in a great Russian classic, conciseness is the younger sister of talent.

Every week we’ll be selecting the best comment and posting it on our website. The winner will get £250 and a letter of praise from the Editor. Two runners up will get £100 each, but no letter of praise, because they should have tried harder. But they will see their comments posted on our website, enabling them to claim that they have been published in a leading media outlet.

For our readers living in Mongolia, the prize money would arrive by special courier, as we have heard that no post reaches the country. Just as no post reaches parts of Russia, China, India and, of course, Britain, where the Royal Mail has been undermined by Labour to such an extent that it cannot function properly any more. So the best we can do is send to our readers in those four booming economies photos of five £50 notes, by email. They can print them out and show them as proof that they have won a competition on Stirring Trouble.

Readers in Zimbabwe will get their cash prizes delivered in large trucks, as the rate of the local currency is such that £250 would amount to something like a trillion. By the way, Zimbabwe should be congratulated or managing to create more billionaires that any other nation on the planet. Apart, that is, from the planet where Russian President Dmitry Medvedev resides, a man who seems to think that all Russians live in prosperity and are deeply happy with the way things are going. And apart from the planet where the leadership of the Chinese Communist Party waxes confident that most Chinese people are basking in luxury. And, of course, apart from the planet where Prime Minister Gordon Brown lives, a man who thinks that he can fool everyone in Britain that things are fast improving and thus win the next General Election.

But seriously: send your comments on the articles you like best. And wait for that cheque in the post. If you have a postal service in your area, that is.

  • chrissie

    Jonothan Ross should do an advert for BT, do you remember the one for have you seen Sid? Obviously it should be BT advertising have you seen Jonothan

  • kathryn moores

    Re. Russian Graffitti
    The World Bank, or WB as you professionals like to call it, is a last bastion of trust in this cynical world; it trusts the figures countries give it! How uplifting in an economic climate such as this. I don’t even trust the figure my dentist gives me before he begins drilling (less sweeties, I know I can’t afford them now we’re in recession, but didn’t Alistar Darling say I should keep on spending?) I disappoint myself and have learn’t a lesson.
    Could StirringTrouble not become an advisor to the WB (I feel so like a proper writer putting that for the World Bank)? Give them the occasional ‘heads up’ on a situation whilst not disillusioning them about the credence to be given to official figures; they’re very sweet, after all.

  • Christine Stephens

    I would just like to add a comment on what Bibi said in her diary about smoking chicks…In fact I know what it feels like to have a smoking chick in the house, there’s one right now in the oven burning because i’m too busy writing this article to look after the dinner!

  • Tyrone

    i dont like gordon brown very much he tries to act like everythings going fine but its not we are still at war with iraq and the money crisis is getting even worse i think he needs to stand down and let someone else who has a bit of sense come to the stand and lead us to a safer world

  • Sam Codewalker

    How I Managed To Close Down All The Clip Joints In Soho. For A While, That Is…

    I’m really sorry that I shall have to take you off my New Years Eve party list,
    but I don’t suppose you could pay a visit to the House of Commons gallery,
    could you?

  • Karen Thompson

    Dear Editor,
    so relieved am I to have finally found an empathetic spirit who realises that Royal Mail has had its legs chewed off at the ankles by a beast much larger than a terrier.

    I, hangs head ashamedly, am one of the above you mention; an outcast, a reject – a resident from … HIGHLANDS AND ISLANDS!!!!!

    I understand, should I win, that due to extortionate costs in dispensing my prize to me (I am correct in presuming you use, COURIER SERVICES TO MAINLAND UK ONLY?) I could only see a photograph of any monies involved, but maybe, just maybe, the shops would give me a morsel for a peek at my pics?

    Again, I take this opportunity to thank you – for recognising that those of us who live at the edge, in places surrounded by water, with not a motorway in sight, must accept our punishment and be excluded from the United Kingdom and its infrastructure and services … ‘ere, ‘ang on, isn’t the UK mainland an island …???

  • Sonia Smith

    Jade is known for being untalented, common, loud, stupid, a bully and yet she’s constantly in the papers and now the US want to speak to her and all this is just because she’s dying! so are billions of other people Jade. Only they die without the chance to make ridicuous amounts of money to give to their families, they die in private with dignity, spending what precious time they have left with their loved ones. This media circus and the quest for further millions to add to her £3 million is pathetic and utterley disgusting. Children are dying fighting wars, of hunger, of abuse and of poverty but yet Miss Goody is not raising any of her money to charity like other stars do (remember Roy Castle?). This whole episode of voyeurism – watching someone die for money is sicken I feel sorry for the normal people who are dying, who have been forgotten. The poor woman should be dying with some dignity. The matter is becoming quite distasteful. Sad as I am for her it is time to put an end to this circus now. She has highlighted the need for young women to have smear test and made enough for her boys. Now she needs to think of all those people out there who are presently suffering from cancer and the effort all this is having on them, seeing her slowly and painfully die must be feeling truly bad – they must be wondering “Will that be me soon?” “Will I die too?” The media should do the right thing and pull the plug NOW.