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Visiting The Waterholes Of London: A Taste Of Some Political Gossip

March 12, 2009

London Pub Adam Lovejoy and R.F.Wilson write, in tandem: It is amazing what you sometimes hear in the waterholes of Central London. Beats reading the newspapers and watching TV news bulletins any time. Here are some of the ‘nuggets’ of the latest political gossip that StirringTroubleInternationally has dug up in the last few days.

We were told by one knowledgeable hack in a pub in West London – he was on his third pint at the time – that a senior ‘insider’ in the Labour party provides Tories with an insight to what Prime Minister Gordon Brown is up to. This ‘insider’, according to our man, had informed the Conservatives about Brown’s decision in 2006 not to call the general election – well before it became known to the general public. We were given an indication – over the fourth pint – that this very same ‘insider’ has already told David Cameron’s people that Brown will definitely call an election in May of this year, as more banks in Britain are set to collapse and the economic crisis gets much worse. When we asked to give us a hint of who this Labour ‘insider’ might be our source demanded two double Scotches and three pints of lager for the information. We made our excuses – just like all those undercover reporters always do when they infiltrate some seedy joint and are offered drugs or sex – and departed.

On that very same day, would you believe it, at a totally different waterhole in East London another reliable source told us that the Conservatives were terrified at the thought of having to fight an election this year. ‘Who the hell would want to take power when the country’s in total mess?’ he told us, sipping on his beer. ‘I have it on good authority that Cameron is thinking of letting Labour win, with a small majority. He’d then wait till things get better and strike a deal with the Unionists to unseat Brown.’ We sat speechless for while, marvelling at this amazing revelation.

At a bar, not far from Westminster, we learnt from a slightly unsteady individual, who was nevertheless smartly dressed and looked very well connected, that a new political party, launched in Britain over the weekend by Paul Judge, former Director General of the Conservatives, will have no policies and stand for pretty much nothing. It would sort of be there for everyone to join. The man, who was on his fifth glass of white wine, told us that Mr Judge, a staunch Tory supporter at heart, had a lot of financial muscle and was planning to take the political scene by storm. The Tories, he said, finishing his fifth glass, should better beware, or they might get their fingers burnt, just like it happened with Jimmy Goldsmith’s UKIP party. We asked the man what would he suggest to David Cameron and he winked and said: ‘Give Judge a peerage. That’ll work just fine.’

In a hotel bar at the heart of the British capital news reached us that the republican movement in Britain – that is not the IRA but the opponents of the monarchy – have decided to throw in the towel and seize all hostilities until the Queen abdicates in favour of Prince Charles or nature takes its course. It appears that the republicans have decided that they are wasting their breath and even damaging their cause by attacking a popular monarch. In the meantime, as we were informed by a man on his tenth pint, the idea would be to discredit the hereditary principal by turning the House of Lords into an appointed and elected second chamber. The cunningness of some people!

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, as we were informed on good authority in a pub in Victoria by a distinctly looking Frenchman, has decided not to challenge Tony Blair for the yet inexistent post of the President of the European Union and let him bask in all that glory. It appears this has all to do with Carla Bruni/Sarkozy who does not really fancying living in Brussels where the future EU President will have to reside. Brussels is not her thing, our source said. It is too provincial and boring for her and only simple people like the Blairs would want to live in it. Ouch, we thought when we heard it. Now that one was below the belt.

In a wine bar in swanky Notting Hill a Russian journalist, on his third large vodka, straight no ice, told us that relations between Moscow and London would not improve in the foreseeable future. ‘Every time an opportunity arises for the two countries to sort out their problems,’ he said, ‘someone in the British establishment poisons the atmosphere.’ He complained that with weeks left President Dmitry Medvedev comes to London to meet with Gordon Brown on the fringes of the G20 summit out of the blue comes a report about Russia’s spying in Britain getting out of hand. And then, as if it was not enough, Foreign Secretary David Miliband makes all the wrong noises and says that Russia should not expect NATO to forget about its invasion of Georgia last year. According to our Russian colleague, Miliband must be still angry at the Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs, Sergey Lavrov, using F-words extensively during his conversation with the British Foreign Secretary over the phone in the first day of the war in Georgia. If only people in the West realised that Russians use foul language only when they like the people they are talking to.

– End –

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