A Cynical Look At World Events. With A Bit Of Sarcasm And Humour

June 30, 2009

Events in Honduras, where the supposedly ‘hugely popular’ President Manuel Zelaya was ousted from power by the armed forces that were instructed to do so by the country’s Supreme Court which ruled that he was corrupt as hell, sent a shiver down the spines of certain leaders around the world. It is all very well for them to talk about democracy and the importance of having a system of checks and balances but it is completely another thing when this system is actually put into action. President Zelkaya, a left-winger, who had based his whole career on populism and anti-Americanism, was arrested by the military at his house in his pyjamas and sent into exile into neighbouring Costa Rica. Mr Zelaya was planning to push through the results of a referendum which would have given him the opportunity to stay in power forever and, as a result, the Supreme Court decided that he was corrupt and unfit to stay in power. The President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, got so upset about the whole affair – having pulled off a similar stunt with presidency for life in his own country – that he threatened to start a war with Honduras. Chavez obviously feared that his own military might follow the example of the Honduras armed forces and oust him from power. Several other leaders, including ones in Western Europe, also felt nervous as their position resembles that of Mr Zelaya and their corrupt practices are just as despised by their own people. Names are not necessary here, as most readers would know whom we are talking about. But one name can still be mentioned here, casually: Gordon Brown.Thousands of people around the world, mostly bankers and politicians, must have breathed a sigh of relief on hearing that crooked New York financier, Bernard Madoff, was sentenced to 150 years in prison for swindling $65 billion of investors’ money. The realisation that is possible to pin the blame for the disappearance of an astronomical sum of money on one man proved a big comfort for the money men and their friends in the corridors of power. From now on the possibilities are endless: tens and even hundreds of billions of dollars and euros and pounds and roubles can vanish without trace and one person can take the blame for it, while all the rest would keep a dignified silence and enjoy the trappings of their secret wealth. But investigators around the world have greeted the sentence with amazement. ‘Anyone can tell you that one man is physically incapable of stealing so much money,’ one source told us. ‘This must be a conspiracy that involves top names in banking and politics. Madoff just took the hit for them. The American judge has got the nerve to pretend that he did not see the contradiction in Madoff taking responsibility for the giant fraud. Justice is definitely blind in the U.S. And dumb as well.’ The word is that U.S. law enforcement agencies should have had a closer look at some accounts in Switzerland and questioned some people living there. But they obviously decided to believe Madoff’s confession. Which was probably a safer bet.

Did the death of Michael Jackson signal the end of mainstream journalism as we know it? It appears that millions of people were turned off by the wall-to-wall coverage of Jackson’s death on the main TV news channels and the overwhelming reporting about it in newspapers. Some people rightly concluded that the whole affair had been blown out of all proportion and the so-called collective grieving was encouraged by the people who stand to profit from the sale of Jackson’s records. It was quite bizarre to see in news reports how people were giving out free Michael Jackson’s T-shirts to the devastated fans who were gathered in different parts of U.S., including the hospital where Jackson’s body was kept. The comments about Jackson made by politicians and so-called music experts were overwhelmingly absurd and bizarre and the praise that was showered on him on TV did not really correspond to the primitive footage and the weak vocals that were shown over and over again. Americans were angered by statements that implied that Jackson was some civil rights activist who helped promoted the civil rights of Black America. As one man said, he was white, for God’s sake. Which summed it up pretty nicely.

As more details surfaced about the colourful private life of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, people are questioning his ability to remain at the helm. The whole scandal, involving accusation of paying prostitutes for favours and peddling drugs, becomes even more embarrassing in the light of the fact that Mr Berlusconi is going to host the forthcoming G-8 meeting summit on 8-10 July. The funniest thing about the approaching summit is that the wives of the world leaders are discussing whether they would be attending the gathering at all, considering that the host is accused of ‘abusing women’. It would be a fun thing if they do not show up and the Italian Prime Minister would summon his ‘girls’ to look after his guests. At least it would then make the G-8 summit worthwhile, as the concept of these gatherings has outlived itself ages ago.

As Andy Murray, the uncharismatic British hope for the Wimbledon tennis title, progressed further yesterday in the tournament, the whole world was asking one simple question: who on earth could be supporting Murray in Britain itself. The man with the charisma of a toilet seat, to use out own expression, is proving to be very dull, both on and off the court. His irritating habit of wiping his face after every exchange of shots, is proving to be a real turn off for tennis fans. The word is that he has a superstition: if he does not wipe his mug every time the play is stopped, he would not win. This though does not look good, both on television and at the stadium. Not to mention that Murray’s style of play has no excitement in it and his press conferences and interviews have always been cringingly boring. Plus, the guy is rude and never thanks the balls boys for handing him the bloody towels.

And finally, the BBC stands accused of misusing £1.8 million of licence payer’s money on covering the amateurish music festival in Glastonbury. The Corporation sent 400 of its people to cover the event, as if it was some state funeral or a world championship. Questions have been raised as to why the publicly funded Corporation made such an effort to promote a bunch of mediocre acts, cheered by fans who would listen to anything. The simple explanation is that the BBC would gladly cover anything that promotes bad taste and glorifies drug taking. It is as simple as that.

– End –

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