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Clint Eastwood Is Quitting Acting. Am I Upset? Nope

I hear screen legend, Clint Eastwood, is sticking to his promise to never act again which he gave after he finished doing that strange film, Gran Tarino, in which he looked like a senile pensioner trying to look and talk tough. Eastwood, who is 79, stresses that he has no plans making films. But no more acting will be involved.

I must say that I am not particularly upset by Eastwood’s decision to disappear from the big screen. It is just that I have never actually considered him to be a good actor. All the films that I have seen with him – all those Westerns and all the Dirty Harry sequels, apart from some war films – I never actually liked very much. They sort of never worked for me, if you know what I mean.

I remember Eastwood as Dirty Harry. He did look odd in those days, with his strange haircut, that permanent frown on his face and that weird walk and weird talk of his. Did not look like a cop at all. Coul not even hold his weapon well, as my friend Thomas would say.

I have an ear for acting, you see. Some have an ear for music, some have an ear for bird singing and some just have an ear for listening to other people talking, through doors and walls. But I have an ear for acting. I can always tell when an actor overacts or underacts, if it’s at all possible to underact. I think the late Peter Ustinov did that all the time. Underact, I mean. And the late James Stewart did too. And many other film legends.

Anyway, with Eastwood it was always like that: I could feel from the moment I would see him on screen that something was definitely not right with his acting. He looked out of place, amateurish, not impressive.

And his Dirty Harry character was not even a cop, in the right sense of the word. He was a blood-thirsty vigilante, a psychopath, who enjoyed killing people. I cannot imagine a positive character – and Dirty Harry was supposed to be a positive character – who actually likes to kill people. Remember his ‘Make my day!’ Bam-bam! Or ‘Are you felling lucky, punk?’ Bam-bam!

This was glamorising violence at its worst. You cannot have a good guy whacking people with gusto and enjoying it immensely.

But that is not really the important thing here. The important thing is that Eastwood could nvere act properly. I know that I may be upsetting some people by saying that he was no big deal, but that is how it is. Sorry, people, to shatter your dreams by having a go at a living film legend.

And talking about film legends, both dead and living: I personally cannot understand why is it that we are not allowed to express our doubts and reservations about some of these people. What is the big deal here? It is not like we are questioning the talents of Shakespeare, Cervantes, Mozart or Beethoven. No, we are talking about people, who have been or still are pretending to be somebody else all the time and not doing it very well at that.

For example, Casablanca with Humphrey Bogart. Well, I am sorry to say this, but I am not a fan of both the film and the star in it. Actually, in my opinion, Bogart looked rather odd on screen. He was what? Five foot five? Or even shorter? And this very short man walked about, talking tough and pretending to be tough. You can’t be tough when you’re five foot five. Just like all those other tiny people on screen, going about, looking angry all the time, thinking that being angry makes them look tough. Yes, you’ve guessed it: Joe Pesci, Tom Cruise and Al Pachino. It looks ridiculous when short men attempt to look like big tall boys, like ruthless killers.

Anyway, I have never been impressed by Bogart. One of the shorties.

And as for the current lot, well, I find most of them not very good. All those John Travoltas, Bruce Willises, Richard Geres, Samuel Jacksons, Nicholas Cages and George Clooneys. All of them are exactly the same in every role. All of them always overact or underact, and all trying to look tough and failing.

I am not saying there are no good actors about. Just look at The Godfather. Every single actor in it was just great. Even the ones in supporting roles. Outstanding stuff, although I mostly blame the director, Francis Ford Coppola, for its success.

And how about Jack Nicholson? One of the greatest actors ever. The best of the best. Give him any role in any film and he’ll save it with his acting, even if it’s total crap. I mean the role or the film.

Of course, there are some very good actors around, but not that many. Because, you see, acting as a profession is not really a profession. You don’t really need to do anything to become an actor. That is why so many of them have been noticed by a producer or a studio scout while they worked in a restaurant or a in a hotel before they went on to become film stars. The whole point about acting is that you don’t have to study or to learn anything. You just one day get cast, walk on the set and there you have it: a career in the film industry.

I have actually met quite a lot of actors and let me tell you something about them: off screen they are some of the most boring people in the world. And you know why? Because all their lives they pretend to be somebody else and when they finally need to be themselves, they don’t really know what to do and what to say. And that is why not a single actor has said anything outstanding or wrote anything of any interest. It’s usually about drinking, drugs, women, rehabs and pretending a lot to be somebody else.

If you ask me, actors are just like waiters, who bring you food cooked by others. Actors are people, who say things that other people have written. And if they start directing, it never really works out. Because they just don’t have it in them.

So, dear Clint, don’t take it personally, but you should have retired from acting earlier. About 59 years ago, for example. Could have made something of your life.

– End–

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