My Cat Kiss Talks About Women. Frankly
August 31, 2009
My cat, Kiss, has been around. Seen things. He lived rough for two years, before choosing my house as his personal address, and the people who live in it as his servants. Cats are like that, you know. They never have masters, like other animals. They ARE the masters and they allow people, who think that they own them, to live on their turf.If you ever hear anyone say that they order their cats around, consider these people retards. They know nothing about cats. Anyway, Kiss is very handsome and, of course, had his share of pussy, if you pardon the expression in this case. Yes, you’ve guessed it: Kiss is a ladies’ man. A womaniser, in human language. And as such, Kiss knows things about females. Knows what they like and dislike and how bitchy they can be. This what he told me once. We...
Why The BMW 3 Series Coupe Is Hot Property
August 31, 2009
Alex Nekrassov writes: You might as well know it: I am the proud owner of a BMW 330i coupe, black colour, slightly tinted windows. I am the dude. I rule the roads. It looks sleek, it is fast and it is everything that you ever want to have in a car.The main difference between a BMW and most other cars is that when you climb inside the Bavarian-built vehicle you feel as one with the car. Beside the fact that the 3 series coupe, complemented by the Motorsport body kit upgrade (a highly recommended addition, giving the car a much more dynamic and sporty looking body) BMW has prided itself on building its cars with the driver very much at the forefront of all its considerations. The 330i coupe in particular combines all the strides in technology you would expect from a premium cruiser, but the engine...
Moving Out Of Britain: A Russian’s Take On Life In The UK
August 31, 2009
A wealthy Russian friend of mine has told me recently that he is planning to move out of Britain and settle in some other country in Europe. When I asked him why he said that Britain has lost a lot of its ‘sparkle’ in the last ten years. ‘There’s no more value for money here,’ he said, grumpily. ‘Everything costs way too much. And the service has become abysmal, with half of the people not understanding a word of English. Doing business here is difficult nowadays because of all the red tape and the hidden taxes. And I simply cannot drive in London anymore! All those weird people in their four-by-fours who are terrified of their own cars and the crazy bus drivers and whackos in white vans are just driving me nuts! Not to mention that the whole city is dug up all the time.’ I looked...
Naomi Campbell Plays The Race Card. What A Disgrace!
August 30, 2009
Adam Lovejoy writes: That irritating woman, Naomi Campbell, has come up with allegations that advertisers refuse to use non-white models in their campaigns. She said recently: ‘I don’t see any black woman, or of any other race, in big advertising campaigns.’ Remarkable, asbsolutelly remarkable. To get more work Campbell is prepared to stir racial tension. How low is that? This is the woman who had claimed that she was ‘racially abused’ by British Airways staff during an incident at Heathrow airport in April last year when she went berserk on board a BA airliner due to depart for Los Angeles. Campbell had lost lost it completely when she was told that one of her bags went missing in all the confusion at the new Terminal 5. She started abusing the cabin crew and...
China Forming A ‘Common Market’ In South East Asia
August 30, 2009
Martin McCauley writes: During the 1990s the rise of the Chinese military led to talk about a ‘Chinese military threat’. On the other hand, its economic rise in the 21st century has been observed with equanimity.This is remarkable, given that China’s military budget has been growing annually by over 10 per cent. The relaxed reaction to China’s economic rise now permits Beijing to advance its diplomatic interests almost imperceptibly. This is most evident in South East Asia. The Association of South East Asian Nations (ASEAN) was formed in 1967, as a response to the ‘China threat’. Beijing supported communist insurgencies in several states and they all had a collective interest in resisting the rise of China. In fact, ASEAN did not normalise relations with China until...
We Present More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
August 30, 2009
Today we present a brand new selection of breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team, the Beatles of current affairs who come up with really funny stuff but do make serious points along the way. From time to time. Breaking News: U.S. President Barack Obama is monitoring elections in Gabon with heightened interest, White House says, adding: Gabon is very high on our agenda.Breaking News: The U.S. Federal Reserve says that it sometimes prints currencies of other nations. To keep things in perspective. Breaking News: U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, launches her own range of lingerie. To make some money for herself. Breaking News: U.S. Vice President Joe Biden says he has some of his own views in international affairs. But he always keeps them to himself. Breaking News: Former...
Observing Other People
August 30, 2009
Gren- Hilda Duval de Villeneuve writes: I have been thinking about all the different types of people I regularly come into contact with, and about all their different coping mechanisms for dealing with our increasingly impossible society.By far, the most common types are those who create their own comfortable environments. They decide to believe in nothing and to take no notice of world events around them. The only thing that penetrates their bubble is a direct threat to their carefully manufactured world. They are particularly sensitive to news of various dread diseases. They tend to believe what the media tells them, but will more often than not eschew the news, in favour of sport. Sport is easy, there are winners and losers and very few grey areas. Socialising with others similar to them...
Global Warming: It’s A Myth
August 29, 2009
Martin McCauley writes: Where has our summer gone? Last August in Britain was the wettest on record. And the winter of 2007 had proven to be the coldest in North America for the last 30 years. So why is there still all this talk about global warming which is supposed to put our planet in mortal danger? The facts would suggest the exact opposite. I know it is politically incorrect to challenge the established view, promoted by our politicians and many scientists, that global warming exists. However, a good scientist is aware that knowledge always evolves: today’s wisdom becomes tomorrow’s nonsense. And as for politicians, they have an uncanny ability to get things wrong. Why, you may ask, do I reject the concept of global warming or anthropomorphic climate change? There is simply...
Go On: Improve Your Inner Vibe. It’ll Make Your Life So Much Better
August 29, 2009
There are such things as vibes. They have nothing to do with music, so all of you, pop and rap fans, can stop reading this now. It has got nothing to do with your stuff. Anyway, a vibe can exist in a room, in a house, in a concert hall, in a shop, in a restaurant, in a museum, in a casino and even in a public toilet. It is not just the overall vibration of the air in a confined space. It is a combination of this vibration with other factors – the size of the place, the colours, the smell, the position of objects and their shapes, the way light falls on everything, the background noise and the way noise ricochets from the walls. All those things together make up the vibe of the place, its energy. And many vibes, taken together, constitute the energy of a whole area, and even a whole city...
The Fall Of An Empire. In 2009 AD
August 29, 2009
Thomas Mathew writes: Now we know for sure that the finance ministers and central bank governors of the G20 group of the world’s wealthiest nations, who do nothing!!!, fail to do nothing!!! It is embarrassing to see them do nothing. NOTHING. You would have expected that the European Union, as part of the NOTHING TEM, might have come up SOMETHING!!! To battle the world recession. For so many years we have been hearing Brussels boast about how good it was at tackling economic problems. So much so that it has demanded absolute political powers for itself to implement its brilliant economic policies. But when recession came, the EU leadership took a back seat, watching member countries fail to agree on anything and insisting that the idea of European unity does not apply to times when their...
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- As ‘Dwarfgate’ Hits Britain, We Ask: Is The World Run By Shorties?
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Samantha Cameron Talks Candidly About Her Hubby. And Sort Of Blows The Lid On Him.
- LibDems Pick A Porn Chick As Their Candidate. We Look At Other Options
- Israeli-Palestinian Peace Process? Now What Process Would That Be?
- The Cold War Is Back. But It Not As We Knew It
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team.
- Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All
- Winning Hearts And Minds In Afghanistan. Even When They’re Detached From The Bodies
- President Ahmadinejad Reveals Iran’s Official Policy
- A Cynical Look At Life In Britain. And The Stiff Upper Lip
- As The British Press Sells Its Soul To The Devil, We Go Behind The Scenes Of One Newspaper
- From Now On The Met Office Will Express Doubt About Its Own Forecasts
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Live Coverage Of The Oscars Proves A Huge Hit. With Dozens Of People
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Mossad Is Thinking Of Going Public. As A Plc
- Who Cares About Elvis Or Who Killed John Kennedy? Aliens Are Running Things Here
- TV Debates Between Party Leaders Will Include Product Placements
- Band Aid: Sir Bob And Friends Do Some Soul Searching
- More Breaking News. From The StirringTrouble Team
- President Zuma: The Man With The Plan
- The New Rich Have No Style, No Class, No Taste. No Anything
- Pearls Of Wisdom: From The Sirring Trouble Team
- About One Pine Tree. And Global Warming Written All Over It
- More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- BBC Cuts Costs: It’s Taking The Piss, But Not As We Know It
- A Case Of One Madman Blowing All The Money
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Climate Change Myth Is Causing Panic. Even Among Climate Change Biggest Fans
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