Alex Nekrassov writes: You might as well know it: I am the proud owner of a BMW 330i coupe, black colour, slightly tinted windows. I am the dude. I rule the roads. It looks sleek, it is fast and it is everything that you ever want to have in a car.The main difference between a BMW and most other cars is that when you climb inside the Bavarian-built vehicle you feel as one with the car. Beside the fact that [...]

A wealthy Russian friend of mine has told me recently that he is planning to move out of Britain and settle in some other country in Europe. When I asked him why he said that Britain has lost a lot of its ‘sparkle’ in the last ten years. ‘There’s no more value for money here,’ he said, grumpily. ‘Everything costs way too much. And the service has become abysmal, with half of the people not understanding a word of English. [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes: That irritating woman, Naomi Campbell, has come up with allegations that advertisers refuse to use non-white models in their campaigns. She said recently: ‘I don’t see any black woman, or of any other race, in big advertising campaigns.’ Remarkable, asbsolutelly remarkable. To get more work Campbell is prepared to stir racial tension. How low is that? This is the woman who had claimed that she was ‘racially abused’ by British Airways staff during an incident at Heathrow [...]

Martin McCauley writes: During the 1990s the rise of the Chinese military led to talk about a ‘Chinese military threat’. On the other hand, its economic rise in the 21st century has been observed with equanimity.This is remarkable, given that China’s military budget has been growing annually by over 10 per cent. The relaxed reaction to China’s economic rise now permits Beijing to advance its diplomatic interests almost imperceptibly. This is most evident in South East Asia. The Association of [...]

Today we present a brand new selection of breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team, the Beatles of current affairs who come up with really funny stuff but do make serious points along the way. From time to time. Breaking News: U.S. President Barack Obama is monitoring elections in Gabon with heightened interest, White House says, adding: Gabon is very high on our agenda.Breaking News: The U.S. Federal Reserve says that it sometimes prints currencies of other nations. To [...]

Martin McCauley writes: Where has our summer gone? Last August in Britain was the wettest on record. And the winter of 2007 had proven to be the coldest in North America for the last 30 years. So why is there still all this talk about global warming which is supposed to put our planet in mortal danger? The facts would suggest the exact opposite. I know it is politically incorrect to challenge the established view, promoted by our politicians and [...]

Thomas Mathew writes: Now we know for sure that the finance ministers and central bank governors of the G20 group of the world’s wealthiest nations do absolutely nothing. For so many years we have been hearing Brussels boast about how good it was at tackling economic problems. So much so that it has demanded absolute political powers for itself to implement its brilliant economic policies. But when recession came, the EU leadership took a back seat, watching member countries fail [...]

Today we present more pearls of wisdom from the Stirring Trouble team. It is quite amazing that these otherwise unremarkable people, recovering alcoholics and sex addicts, come up with such brilliant stuff.Thrusting your hips is called ‘dancing’ in New York. In Moscow it is called ‘sexual intercourse’. It’s official: it is easier to buy drugs on Oxford Street in London than find a bottle of decent wine or Scotch. Come to think of it, there is nothing more disappointing than [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes: Pardon me for asking, but what the hell has the mayor of London, Boris Johnson, actually done for our once great city, since he was elected last year? What is it exactly that he has changed in the British capital that made it a better place to live in? Words, words, words, said the Bard once, and this is what exactly we got, and are still getting, from Mr Johnson: plenty of words, and sometimes hints but [...]

Sometimes you read about something in the newspapers and wonder: has the world gone absolutely mad or what? It was revealed recently that a paedophile was receiving Viagra on the NHS even though he had a string of convictions for abusing children. And did anyone do anything about it? No, no one did a thing. It was his human right, you see, to get free viagra. Bizarre, absolutely bizarre. Some time ago there was another strange incident: a pedophile walked [...]