Some Fashion Tips. For Men Over 40. By My Butler George

Today, dear readers of Stirring Trouble Internationally, I would like to give the podium, so to speak, to my butler George, who is a great authority on fashion, having been dating models in his younger days and having been mixing with some designers, for some strange reasons that I have not been told about. George has a good sense of understanding of clothes and often gives sound advice to people, who tend to dress like clowns, lunatics or prostitutes, and then not understand why people around them do not treat them seriously.

Today we present to you fourteen fashion tips for mature men, dictated to me by butler George. Although I have to say that some young men might be wise to read these tips carefully and remember them.

TipN1: Never-ever wear a dark suit with brown or grey shoes. A dark suit only goes with black shoes.

TipN2: Never-ever wear a striped tie with a striped shirt. Only men with no taste do that. And provincial politicians, local officials and TV presenters of left-wing orientation.

TipN3: Avoid wearing striped suits with striped shirts. This never looks good. We are talking here about distinct stripes that you can see clearly. Barely visible stripes are a completely different matter.

Tip N4: Never wear bright coloured suits outside spring and summer. You will always look out of place and resemble women, who wear white shoes in the winter time and look like provincial hookers.

TipN5: Always wear a wide tie, as narrow ties make you look like cardsharps or other dodgy characters. A wide tie makes a man look confident. Never wear ties that have silly ornaments on them or large images of objects and living creatures. Ties should be of one colour, preferably in different shades of blue or brown. Although red and yellow ties of certain shades can be great on some occasions.

TipN6: Do not overdress in flashy coloured garments. Do not look like a parrot, or a holiday maker from a cheap seaside resort.

TipN7: Once you hit 40, start wearing jackets on all occasions. By this age you just would not have the proper physique to get away with wearing T-shirts, polo-shirts and silly casual denim shirts. Wear a shirt and a casual jacket when you are outside the office.

TipN8: Men over 40, and preferably earlier, should never wear running shoes as casual footwear. You will look like dimwits in running shoes. Please, there are many types of soft leather casual shoes that fit all occasions. Do not copy drug dealers and street gang members. No man over 40 has ever looked proper in running shoes.

TipN9: Men over 40 should avoid wearing blue jeans or risk looking like wankers. They should also fight the temptation of wearing blue jeans along with cowboy boots. That is the pits of men’s fashion. That is like wearing a T-shirt with the sign: ‘I’m an old idiot and I can’t get it up properly.’

TipN10: Avoid clashing colours. If you are colour blind and have no feel for colours stick to conservative blue, brown or grey with the shirts and ties, if you are wearing suits, adding the colour scream to the overall appearance.

TipN11: If you are over 40, avoid wearing three button suits. They make most men, even young ones, look like pimps or waiters. No offence to pimps, of course. Two button suit makes all men look slimmer. And more intelligent.

TipN12: Always wear comfortable underwear that is not too tight. Tight underwear might produce the same effect as constant cycling does to males. A bad effect.

TipN13: Avoid following fashion religiously. You will look stupid, as a lot of men’s fashion IS stupid.

TipN14: Do remember that when you hit 40, what you wear becomes less important. It is what you say that starts to matter more. So before you reach 40, read as much as you can. It will save you so much money on the clothes that you will otherwise have to buy to impress everyone around.

– End -

14 Comments

1. Paul Johnson says:

   January 28, 2010 at 11:34 pm

   You write with the overbearing self confidence of a shallow thinker. None of the above is even slightly helpful.
2. Patukka says:

   May 1, 2010 at 3:13 am

   Great advice if you are a stuffy British butler. Too bad I’m living in the 21st Century but if I did live in the 50s, I’d seriously consider this humorless advice.
3. David says:

   February 21, 2011 at 12:40 am

   How old are you? no jeans? please we grew up on jeans and made them fashion.
4. Eric says:

   November 6, 2011 at 11:04 pm

   You forgot tip #N15: don’t let boneheads with brainless ideas tell you how to dress. Whomever wrote this is full of sh*t. My generation made blue jeans what they are today. Darn right I’m going to wear them. And running shoes are the most comfortable shoes I’ve got.
5. Peter says:

   November 15, 2011 at 2:49 pm

   Completely agree – this is timeless advice – just seen an expensively dressed 40 year old in the bank in armani jeans – they didn’t handle his paunch very well – he might just as well have worn a pair from Ethel Austin for all the good they did him.
6. Pappacaud says:

   December 27, 2011 at 5:01 pm

   I dress in blue jeans a
   lot, I even wear them out to dinner. Along with my graphic Tee’s and 3 buttons. I am
   pushing 50, my lady is 40 and could pass for late 20′s. All our friends are in
   their 30′s, I have found that most of
   our friends are copying my dress. Fashion I know not a thing about, being
   comfortable and confident is the style I go with, it attracts
7. kevin says:

   January 25, 2012 at 12:53 am

   You are American!  lots of dollars and no cents (sic)
8. Trogers says:

   May 24, 2012 at 2:37 pm

   This is he most ridiculous article! It’s ironically archaic to assume that when youre over 40, “you won’t have the proper physique to wear t shirts and polos??!! Or that what you wear becomes less important??! DISLIKE.
9. Kelvin says:

   August 12, 2012 at 10:21 am

   Excellent tips, George really has shared some great tips with you thanks for sharing them here if they could put this in a bottle and sell it that would be great. Many sports athletes should read this article. Don’t get caught out, read this article to determine what new fashion works and what traditionally does not. From choosing the right tie to go with the right shirt to knowing when to throw away those jeans and get an even understanding of what to do when you reach 40. Well done. Does George have any views on Chinos?
10. axle says:

    August 17, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Thank you for the brotherly advice.I am glad I had good sense with most of your advice.I guess it pays to read.However do the running shoes and jeans really have to go?I am told I fill them quite well.
11. Leon says:

    August 29, 2012 at 5:47 am

    I’m 57 yrs old and have been considered a good dresser since I started buying my own cloths at the age of 13. I usually stay conservative with a bit of personal pop. After reading the article I felt it was good advise across the board to be on the safe side for one who has never really considered dressing well. If you have waited until your 40 plus to really care about your appearance, I say follow these tips to the letter. If you don’t know the difference from casual dress, formal dress or semi formal dress than this article is probably for you. I live in NC but was raised in New York City and left at age 23. And dressing well always part of me as far back as I can remember. I would really like to see people get back to dressing well again. My wife and I enjoy dress good but we find ourselves over dressed a little every time we go out. People have become very lazy with dress. There was a time you could not enter a restaurant wearing flip flops or sleeveless shirt. Sorry for rambling.
12. Ed says:

    September 10, 2012 at 9:00 am

    I’m pushing 50. I wear jeans, T-Shirts and, when either convenience or neccessity demands it, trainers.

    I can keep it up longer and use it better far more than some 20 year old kid.

    And I wear what I like, not what others, least of all, up their own backside internet wanabee dictates.

    Don’t wear three button suits, wear two button ones-LOL, the pressing matter of the day, how many buttons on a suit. Seriously, dear writer (wisely hiding behind an alias) time for you to find another career, one that suits your abilities-one as far away from a keyboard as is physically possible.

    Be individual, not a slave to opinion. A pointless, ridiculous, ill conceived and badly written piece of irrelevant fluff.
13. Will says:

    September 12, 2012 at 4:58 am

    The truth is no one cares what you are wearing because most are too consumed thinking about how they themselves look.
14. Bard says:

    December 24, 2012 at 3:45 am

    And if you’re a blue-collar worker over 40? Unfortunately, not everyone in the world is a yuppie.

    Oh yeah, and nice way to cover your ass, “My Butler George.”