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Back To The Future: A Glimpse Of Things To Come In 2012

I am sorry, but I would like to remind the people of Britain, and of London, how vulgar and over the top the closing ceremony of the Beijing Summer Olympics had been last year and how it was especially embarrassing to watch Britain’s short presentation, as host nation to the 2012 Games, and the party that followed.

I am not going to waste time telling you why it was bizarre for the Chinese to throw such a lavish closing ceremony to the Olympics. I will just say that all the money that had been blown on that pretentious, communist type of spectacle could have been better used to help combat poverty in China. Especially as at the time there were tens of thousands of victims of the devastating earthquake in Sichuan province still living in tents, having had lost their homes. It was embarrassing to watch that generously funded celebration in Beijing, designed primarily to glorify China’s communist leadership and impress on the foreign guests that the whole country was having one big party.

But if the Chinese had gone over the top with their lavish extravaganza – a feast during a plague sort of thing – the 8-minute long British presentation was a cringing occasion – from the first minute till the last. I know that there were budget constraints, but was it was no reason to come out as total fools in front of the whole world?

Imagine, there was David Beckham there representing everything that is great about Britain. What has he done for sport to get all that free promotion? The man could never kick the ball properly. He was always just a pretty boy, with his silly mug on a pack of some crispies. And that silly grin of his did not do London any favours in Beijing either.

And then there were the dancers at that ceremony who symbolised a young, dynamic Britain. The problem was that they obviously did not have the time to rehearse properly and the whole performance turned into a shambles. Even Mathew Bourne’s men-swans could have done it better.

And the double-decker bus that eventually appeared on the stadium and pulled up at the stop turned out to be some stupid fold-up of the silhouette of London, although, of course, it could have just as well been any other city because most of the landmarks were totally unrecognisable.

To cut the story short the pathetic presentation had included that so-called diva, Leona Lewis, winner of the X-Factor, who sang badly and moved like Tina Turner when the latter hit 70. And then there was the dinosaur of British rock, Jimmy Page, who was getting on with the years, and it showed. And the two great stars sang Whole Lotta Love, which was a very strange choice, considering the occasion. Luckily for everyone nobody could really hear what they were performing.

But the worst part came with the so-called party that took place after the disaster on the stadium. There they were on stage: London Mayor Boris Johnson, Prime Minister Gordon Brown, head of the Organisation Committee of the 2012 Olympics Lord Coe, Olympics Minister Tessa Joel, David Beckham (again) and some blond guy who smiled a lot. It was cringingly embarrassing. In fact, it was so bad that they should have all committed suicide after that. Boris included.

Now why, you may wonder, am I recalling all these sad events of last year? Well, because they offer a glimpse of things to come in 2012 in London. You might say, I have looked into the past to see the future. And the future did not look good at all.

– End –

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