1500 Articles Later: We Present The First Ever Piece Posted On Stirring Trouble

October 15, 2009

Tony Blair 2 Now that we have amassed a wopping 1,500 articles on our website we decided that it would be a good idea to look back and see what was the first piece that had been posted on our website. Ever. And guess what: it turned out to be a humorous take on politicians. And we present it to you today because it concerns a man who is in the news now, tipped to become the first ever President of the European Union.

Tony The Stud. Or Why It Is Always Good To Mock Politicians

It has always amazed me how Tony Blair managed to avoid being mocked and ridiculed during his 10 years as Prime Minister. From the moment that ‘straight kind of guy’ got into 10 Downing Street in 1997 he did and said ridiculous things most of the time. Remember his take on Princess Di when she died in a car crash? Tony quickly jumped on the grieving wagon, got all emotional and, amongst other things, called her the ‘people’s Princess’.

Hmm, the people’s Princess. It did not sound right. It is a contradiction in terms, you see. It is just plain stupid. And yet, did anyone have a real go at Tony then? Nope, he managed to get away with it.

Afterwards, of course, there were more ridiculous things said and done by Religious Tony. There were five year plans introduced, just like in North Korea or Cuba, and preposterous targets set, including a promise to cut down teenage pregnancies by 50 or so per cent. Bizarre pledges were given to do away with crime and the causes of crime – and send all young people to universities. Multi-millionaires were giving dodgy donations to the Labour party and there were free holidays for the Blair family at villas of the super-rich. Brain dead pop stars were invited to 10 Downing Street and there was Tony claiming that he never missed a game by Newcastle United.

And do not forget his wife, Cherrie, who used the office of the Prime Minister as if it was her own, charging charities a lot of money for speeches, demanding designer clothes at huge discounts and hanging out with con-artists and weird life style gurus.

You would have expected stand-up comedians and comedy writers to have a ball at the expense of the Blairs. They did not even need to invent anything – it was all there for them for the taking. And yet, the main targets of ridicule at the time were consecutive leaders of the opposition, as if they decided anything.

My personal favourite was the interview which Tony and Cherrie gave to the Sun before the general election in 2005. That was when Cherrie announced that Tony was a five-times-a-night man. Yep, good old Tone, as it turned out, was as horny as a rabbit in May, a real stud. Once he would get into the mood, we were told by Cherie, there was no stopping him. Fired away on all cylinders, as they say. On all five cylinders, in his case.

Now, in a normal situation the comedians and the stand-up crowd should have had a feast. There was enough to generate a thousand and one jokes and sketches. You could not make it up even if you wanted to. Especially as the revealing interview came before a general election.

Yet Tony was spared from ridicule and mockery as if no one seemed to find it hilarious that the Prime Minister’s wife had to go on record to reveal their bedroom secrets, to the Sun of all papers, in a desperate bid to attract voters. And that was the same woman who had always demanded privacy for herself and her family.

But the worst thing about it all was that Blair got it into his head that he was invincible and could get away with anything. Hence the disastrous tempering with the British constitution and the illegal war with Iraq, corruption on a grand scale, the buying of the election results in 2005 with the cash for peerages and the constant lying.

Trust me, it could have been so much different if Blair would have been given a hard time by the comedians. The whole point of good comedy is to ridicule politicians, who make fools of themselves. The other subjects are not that important. Politicians should always come first. Especially if they hold high office and should not have been there in the first place.

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