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Praising Corruption: A Statement By The Seriously Corrupt Party

October 20, 2009

Seriously Corrupt Adam Lovejoy writes: As the scandal surrounding the parliamentary expenses of British members of parliament continues the one party that looks confidently into the future is the Seriously Corrupt Party (SCP). Regular readers of this website know that it was here that the SCP has announced about its creation and proclaimed its determination to make corruption in British political life something to be proud of again. The last several months have proven that the corrupt practices of the SCP are becoming more and more popular amongst British elected politicians.

But, according to the SCP, more opportunities exist to spread corruption even wider and that is why the party is planning to launch a major public relations campaign promoting the benefits and advantages of political corruption, in all its shapes and forms. Meanwhile we present to you the latest statement by the National Executive Council of the SCP concerning the many revelations of the abuse of the expenses system in the House of Commons:

Statement By The Seriously Corrupt Party

It is with both a feeling of deep pride for the majority of members of British parliament and certain disappointment at the behaviour of some MPs that we, leaders of the Seriously Corrupt Party, have been watching events of the last months surrounding the so-called ‘expenses row’. (We say ‘so-called’ because we do not see anything wrong in politicians using their position to beef up their personal fortunes.) Every day provides more and more proof that members of the House of Commons were very imaginative in claiming their expenses and house allowances. Although the SCP does not yet have any MPs in the House of Commons, we are confident that our members will be able to find many allies in the chamber once they buy their way there.

We are somewhat disappointed though that some MPs seem to be embarrassed for claiming false expenses and bending the rules. What could be embarrassing about being a corrupt politician? And what other reasons can people have of going into politics if not to enrich themselves at taxpayers’ expense? That is why we think that it is rather odd that some Honourable Members of the House have taken the unusual decision of returning the money that so rightly belongs to them. We hope that they did it under duress from their leaders, who have no understanding of what drives modern politics.

As a dynamic new political party the SCP will do everything in its power to make corruption something that politicians could be proud of. Let no one doubt that widespread abuse of power has helped achieve great results in the past, while limited corruption hampered efforts of politicians to get things done. We, the leaders of the SCP, consider corruption as an act of civil duty for an elected politician. If you cannot be anyone else but a politician then it would only be reasonable to expect that you are going to use your position to make money for yourself and your lovely wives and children.

We are very disappointed that some members of the House of Commons, though mercifully not many, are actually shunning corruption completely. We regard such attitudes as perverse and damaging for the whole democratic process. These people should have never entered politics. They are in effect undermining the whole political system and denying others the opportunity to make a decent living as corrupt legislators.

We do agree that in cases when corruption of politicians becomes public knowledge, like it happened in the current situation, they should always blame the system and refuse to take the blame for anything. Blaming the system has worked wonderfully in such corrupt nations as Russia, China, Zimbabwe and Argentina, where generations of politicians have managed to amass vast fortunes and avoid any responsibility. We welcome the overwhelming conviction across the House of Commons, supported by the leaders of the political parties, that it was the system that has forced the MPs to submit false claims for huge expenses. We also hope that the new system that has been adopted reecently would be as easily abused as the current one, so as to attract worthy people into politics.

The SCP would also like to condemn, in the strongest possible terms, the disgraceful behaviour of the British press that has been publishing details of MPs’ expenses and drawing the wrong conclusions on their basis. The press has long ago lost respect of the British people and is now involved in a witch hunt against elected members of parliament who have been exercising their right to make a quick buck here and there. We call upon the government to introduce strict censorship on all information concerning corruption in politics.

Finally, we would like to offer all the members of parliament who feel that their rights have been trampled to join us at the Seriously Corrupt Party and fight to make this country great again using the old traditional methods of abuse of power.

National Executive Council of the SCP

– End –

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