More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 7, 2009

Today we present more breaking news items. From the wires of the Stirring Trouble team.

Breaking News: G20 finance ministers gather in Scotland to share a laugh at all the idiots who fell for their bullshit about the recession ending.

Breaking News: British Prime Minister Gordon Brown reveals that on many occasions when he calls the White House some young girl’s voice tells him to f..k off.

Breaking News: White House insists that President Barack Obama knows what he is doing. He just pretends to be idle and indecisive, spokesman says.

Breaking News: Asked why he said in 2007 that Obama ‘was not fit to be president’ Vice President Joe Biden declares: I was pissed at the time. Out of my wits.

Breaking News: Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas says that he is stepping down in January to become a criminal godfather. I’ve always wanted to do something worthwhile, he says.

Breaking News: UN’s inspectors reveal that the Iranian nuclear instillation in Qom is actually a giant nightclub called The Nuclear Bomb. Hence all the confusion, inspectors say.

Breaking News: Uganda is a clash of cultures, its government says. We clash all the time, spokesman confirms. Culture or no culture, we beat the shit out of each other and love it.

Breaking News: The World Health Organisation says that swine flu is the most exciting non-existent disease it has ever promoted.

Breaking News: Saudi Arabian government insists it’s the best government in the world. We’re rich, we don’t care about our people and we have a great future, ministers say.

Breaking News: German Chancellor Angela Merkel admits that she joined politics for the glamour and the excitement. And the big money, obviously.

Breaking News: The Communist Party of China at its emergency congress denounces sexual intercourse as anti-communist practice.

Breaking News: Kremlin reveals that shoving your tongue deep down your partner’s throat is dubbed a ‘Gorbachev kiss’ in Russia.

Breaking News: Russian mob says it want to have a quiet chat with the two winners of the Euromillions lottery jackpot.

Breaking News: Columbian drug barons say they’re bored. We are rich as hell, they say, but we can’t seem to enjoy ourselves.

Breaking News: Indian government says that China sucks. La-la-la, it sucks, a senior official in New Delhi says.

Breaking News: The Republic of Ireland says that I has become a superpower and no one has noticed it. Even it own people.

Breaking News: CNN decides to disband. No one watches our shit, it says.

Breaking News: Cuba is the best place to launch a career in torture, says Cuban President Raul Castro.

Breaking News: International Federation of Idiots says it is keeping an open mind about many things.

Breaking News: American Right says that it is besotted by Sarah Palin. She will be our pin up for years to come, one right-wing fanatic says. She’s hot. She’s a babe.

– End –

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