More Breaking News. From The Wires Of The Stirring Trouble Team

November 8, 2009

It is Sunday again and we present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.

Breaking News: As world leaders gather in Berlin to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall Chancellor Angela Merkel warns: No groping, no swearing and no threesomes.

Breaking News: White House denies that a jump in unemployment numbers contradicts its assertions that the recession is over. We feel good, so it must be getting better, White House says.

Breaking News: US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton writes an anonymous letter to herself, praying herself for her great looks and the great work she does.

Breaking news: Commanders at Fort Hood army base in Texas reveal that they never thought that members of Al Qaeda who were allowed to operate on the base would stoop so low as to kill people.

Breaking News: US Vice President Joe Biden says he was always convinced that ‘taking the piss’ meant taking a urine sample to the doctor.

Breaking News: NASA declares that it is determined to blow as much money as possible on space exploration to please Star Trek and Star Wars fans.

Breaking News: US and NATO commander in Afghanistan, General Stanley McChrystal, says that sending US soldiers on suicide missions might help win the war.

Breaking News: British Airways reveals it plans to lay off all of its pilots and cabin crew staff and ask passengers to fly the planes themselves and provide catering services.

Breaking News: G20 finance ministers adopt a secret document at their gathering in Scotland that opens with the G20 group’s motto: ‘Little people? F..k ‘em.’

Breaking News: British Prime Minister Brown goes jogging to prove that he is fit and strong, but nearly dies from exhaustion in the first 30 seconds.

Breaking News: Organisers of the UN climate conference in Copenhagen reveal that they have always been treating the whole thing as a joke.

Breaking News: Saudi Arabian government says that it will do everything to defend its unique type of democracy from anyone who does not like it.

Breaking News: Outgoing Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas admits that he has amassed such a vast personal fortune that he no longer cares what happens to the peace process, or any process.

Breaking News: Thailand is a land of magic, Thai government says. We have all the drugs in the world to get you into a fantasy world.

Breaking news: The Kremlin denies that Russian President Dmitry Medvedev thinks of himself as a hunk and a stud. He’s fine with being called ‘sex god’, spokesman says.

Breaking News: I never knew that the US introduced sanctions against us, Cuban President Raul Castro says. Until my dead brother, Fidel, told me about is.

Breaking News: UN’s nuclear inspectors admit that they have been drinking a lot during their recent visit to Iran and might have missed a couple of nuclear instillations there.

Breaking News: International Federation of Idiots says it is greatly concerned with swine flu, global warming and the threat that the little green men pose to our planet.

Breaking News: The Communist Party of China declares masturbation a form of sexual intercourse as part of its one child policy.

Breaking News: Afghan President Hamid Karzai reveals that he is really looking forward to misusing another $30 billion of foreign aid in the name of democracy and freedom.

Breaking News: Russian mob says that some of its members have man-breasts and suffer the indignity of wearing bras.

Breaking News: Indian government comes clean and reveals that the economic boom in India was a publicity stunt.

– End -

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