More Breaking News. From The Wires Of The Stirring Trouble Team

November 10, 2009

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team, the Beatles of current affairs.Breaking News: To mark the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall Germany announces that it is planning to invade Poland and some other neighbouring countries.

Breaking News: White House says that President Obama treats the conflict in Afghanistan as his very own little war. It’s his baby, White House says. He dots over it.

Breaking News: White House says that as Hillary Clinton no longer has her periods the US foreign policy would no longer have regular monthly upheavals, like it was under Condi.

Breaking news: Commanders at Fort Hood in Texas reveal that they never realised that half of the officers at the army base were active Al Qaeda members.

Breaking News: US Vice President Joe Biden that his youthful looks and great sense of humour will probably play a crucial role in helping President Obama win the second term in office.

Breaking News: Allied commander in Afghanistan, General Stanley McChrystal, says that starting a new war, somewhere in Africa or Latin America, might take the spotlight off the Afghan campaign.

Breaking News: Afghan President Hamid Karzai reveals that not a day goes by that he does not think about corruption. Lovingly.

Breaking News: British Prime Minister Brown reveals that he writes all his letters by hand. And delivers them himself.

Breaking News: Saudi Arabian government says: thank God for Iran and North Korea. Otherwise everyone would have been having a go at us for whacking the opposition.

Breaking News: Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad admits that he is a sucker for a good time in the torture chamber with the boys from the Revolutionary Guard.

Breaking News: Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez admits that stirring up fears among his people of a war with Columbia gives him a buzz.

Breaking news: Kremlin says Russian President Dmitry Medvedev is not bothered by claims that he is Putin’s puppet. As long as no one finds out that he is a cross-dresser, he’s OK, Kremlin says.

Breaking News: Cuban President Raul Castro reveals that he regularly talks on the phone with President Obama.
I give Barack advice on his health care reform, Castro says.

Breaking News: UN Secretary General, Ban Ki Moon, says the most recent orgy in UN headquarters in New York was attended by some of the best looking hookers ever. We spend our money wisely, he says.

Breaking News: International Federation of Idiots reveals that its chairman, Brian Buttocks-Suicide, is going to take part in the next G20 summit. He is one of the boys now, IFI says.

Breaking News: Chinese leadership says that it never expected the West to keep on buying all the crap that China has been producing in the past 20 years. We hold them for suckers, Beijing says.

Breaking News: North Korean leader Kim Jong Il goes berserk when he finds out that state run television actually tried to show something else rather than the photos of him smiling broadly.

Breaking News: Russian mob says that it holds Prime Minister Gordon Brown in great respect. He nicked a trillion and nobody noticed, mob says. In out book that is greatness.

Breaking News: Iraqi parliament approves a law to hold a rigged election in January, so that everyone keeps their seats.
Breaking News: Russian mob tells filthy rich lowlifes from all over the world: You don’t own f..king London. We do.

Breaking News: It has emerged that British boxer David Haye managed to unbalance the Russian giant Nikolai Valuev during their recent fight for WBA title by telling him his hair style sucked.

– End -

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