Privacy For Politicians? You Have Got To Be Kidding!

November 21, 2009

Let me tell you something about politicians: they like to claim their right to privacy every time they want to hide something that could damage their standing, or even force them to step down. Privacy, I need my privacy, I’m entitled to privacy, you hear them say the moment they get caught with their pants down or their skirts up, or found out to be seriously devoted to alcohol or powdered substances, or revealed to be seriously to spending too much time enjoying the trappings of high office.

Politicians like to insist that what happens in their private lives has no impact on what they do in office. You know, like saying: OK, so I hang out with hookers, so what has it got to do with my policies? Or: Sure, I abuse my position and suck up to filthy rich lowlifes, but deep inside I’m a religious person and care for others. Or: Yes, I exaggerate my expenses and allowances but it is only because I’m not getting paid properly for my hard work. Or: Yes, I did help my close friends and associates make loads of money on government contracts, but I see nothing wrong with it as they are all good decent people and are doing a great job. Or: OK, I am corrupt, but I am striving to become better. Or, my personal favourite: So, I’m an unelected elected politician, but you know me, I won’t let you down.

In case you’re wondering whom I actually mean, here is the list: Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, former prime Minister Tony Blair, half of the members of British parliament, former President George W. Bush, President Hamid Karzai and President Dmitry Medvedev and Prime Ministers Vladimir Putin and Gordon Brown, all three falling for that last category of unelected elected politicians..

So here is the deal: elected politicians have no right to any privacy. They lost it once they decided to enter politics and exist on taxpayers’ money. They can have their privacy back once they retire – if they are lucky enough not to be caught embezzling funds – but not before. We want to know every tiny detail about their miserable past: did they drink too much or use drugs, did they cheat at school and at university, did they marry for money, were they known for some perverse practices and were they ever prosecuted and found guilty for any crimes? Plus: were they communist or fascists, were they supportive of disgusting causes like making drugs and prostitution legal, did they ever demand to lower the age of consent to primary school age or supported terrorism in any shape or form? (Come to think of it, probably half of the current Labour government in Britain fits into all of these categories.)

We, the people who pay the politician’s salaries have the right to be in the picture. And we want to know what they are up once they are elected. How much time do they actually spend on their direct responsibilities, are they getting too chummy with undesirable people like bankers, big businessmen, property developers and so on? We want to know how they treat their families and whether they show too much interest in the opposite sex. Are they drinking too much, are they healthy mentally, do they have serious disabilities that hamper their work – and screw the disabled lobby because we are paying for these shits. And we want to know what their families are up to and are they actually using their position as spouses or children to top elected politicians to make their live that much better. And we want to know what their friends are up to and are there too many of these buddies infesting the government or occupying some cosy jobs in companies that are getting government contracts.

In other words, we want to know the whole bloody lot. And we want journalists to monitor elected politicians, night and day, and investigate them and not believe a word they say. That is what the press is there for. It should not be getting chummy with politicians. It should be a dog and the lamp post situation, hacks pissing on politicians, in a metaphorical sense but with all the nasty implications.

And only then can we sleep peacefully, well, sort of peacefully, in the knowledge that we have got our elected politicians covered. And to hell with their privacy. They knew what they were getting in when they went into politics.

– End –

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