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More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 24, 2009

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.

Breaking News: The newly appointed President of Europe, Herman van Rompuy, reveals that he is a sucker for a left-wing orgy with right-wing undertone. I’m all things to all people, he says.Breaking News: European Union’s new foreign policy chief, Baroness Ashton, warns people not to mistake her for a blonde bimbo. I might be cute and sexy but I’m hard as nails, she says.

Breaking News: Chancellor Angela Merkel says now that she’s got two wimps to represent the EU her dream of Germany’s world domination moved a step closer.

Breaking News: President of the European Commission Manuel Barosso admits that several of his ancestors were vampires.

Breaking News: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi says that just because he knows all the lines from the Godfather and Godfather II does not make him a Mafioso.

Breaking News: German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, says that rumours about her promiscuity are spread by people who envy her great looks and her stunning body.

Breaking News: New documents reveal that Italian dictator Benito Mussolini was a horny little bastard who invented stories about his wild sex sessions and told them to his mistress.

Breaking News: Dissident republicans in Northern Ireland reveal that they left a 400 lb bomb outside a police HQ in Belfast as a Christmas gift.

Breaking News: Russian hackers uncover President Obama’s emails to Chinese communist leaders in which he begs them for money.

Breaking News: White House denies that President Barack Obama smoked weed with the visiting Indian Prime Minister.

Breaking News: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says she’s a babe and a stunner and can seduce any dictator.

Breaking News: Chinese communist leaders say that starting WW3 is something they keep as an open option.

Breaking News: Poll carried out across the world reveals that people actually prefer peace to war. It comes as a shock to the American and British governments.

Breaking News: The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) says that the extortionate prices it charges for petrol allow at least a few of its people to lead prosperous life.

Breaking News: Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez admits that he likes to hang out with other dictators and wear women’s clothes.

Breaking News: The Liberal Democrats in Britain say they will stage an orgy this Christmas. An orgy describes best what we stand for, Lib Dems say.

Breaking News: NATO’s General Secretary, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, reveals that he watches violent films all the time. To keep his bloodthirst going.

Breaking News: Worldwide poll of pensioners reveals that most of them feel like robbing a bank.

Breaking News: Polish prostitutes say that they can be very classy. If offered the right sort of money.

Breaking news: First Lady, Michelle Obama, says that she would widen her vegetable patch outside the White House dramatically and sell the produce at a market for profit.

Breaking News: Poll among Europeans reveals they do not give a damn how presidential elections in Romania turn out.

Breaking News: Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, says that he would do anything for money. Anything.

– End –

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