Stirring Trouble’s Football Awards Of 2009. Starting With Worst Transfer Of The Year Award

December 31, 2009

Stirring Trouble’s Football Awards Of 2009. Starting With Worst Transfer Of The Year Award

Alex Nekrassov writes: As the year 2010 knocks on our collective doors it’s a perfect time to give out various (and thoroughly deserved) gongs to the people associated with the nation’s favourite sport, football. As you might have figured out, we’re deviating slightly from categories such as ‘best team of the year’, or ‘best footballer ‘ – these will be awarded at the end of the season anyway, and frankly, who cares who gets what. We feel our awards capture the spirit of the game in a way that the mainstream ones never could. So without further ado, here are the winners of the Stirring Trouble Internationally Football Awards of 2009: Worst Transfer Of The Year Award The winner of this category wasn’t really ever in doubt. In fact, we considered... 

The English Premiership Wonderland: Of Players Going Missing In January

December 30, 2009

The English Premiership Wonderland: Of Players Going Missing In January

Alex Nekrassov writes: The English Premiership is a strange place. Words are often said that are meaningless, but are still eagerly picked up by everyone and discussed with vigour and excitement, as if they really stand for something. Teams and managers are praised, even though with all that money thrown at them they could have performed much better.And it gets worse. This is the time of year which managers of top Premiership clubs dread. It all has to do with the bi-annual African Cup of Nations tournament, with Africa’s best footballers from all around the world deserting their clubs. 16 nations from the continent will take part in the month-long tournament, between January 10 and 31 in 2010 in Angola. Typically, in the English Premiership and out of the top four clubs, the team which... 

And The International Taking The Piss Awards Of 2009 Go To…

December 30, 2009

And The International Taking The Piss Awards Of 2009 Go To…

It’s this time of year again when StirringTroubleInternationally gives out silver plated dildos to people and institutions that have left a distinct mark on the proceedings of the past year. So, without wasting any time, let me present the six winners of the International Taking The Piss Award of 2009, listed according to the number of votes they have received.The first winner of this year’s contest is the Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee, for unanimously deciding to give the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 to US President Barack Obama, whose nomination was submitted 11 days after his inauguration ceremony in January 20. We, at StirringTroubleInternationally, voted overwhelmingly to include the Nobel Committee into the list of winners for 2009. Its decision to award the biggest peace... 

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

December 29, 2009

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

Today we present a new selection of breaking news items from the wires of the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: In the wake of the failed terrorist incident on the Delta passenger plane President Barack Hussein Obama assures the American people that he is not a practising Muslim. Breaking News: White House says President Obama’s promise to conduct two ‘thorough reviews’ of the security of air travel will send shudders down the spines of Al Qaeda leaders. Breaking News: President Obama interrupts a game of golf to dash to his holiday home to watch CNN’s special programme on his greatness. Breaking News: As a result of the failed terrorist attempt on the Delta plane US government says that ALL air passengers from now on would be treated as hostile thugs bent on violence. Breaking... 

The Delta Terrorist Incident: What Are The Options To Make Air Travel More Unpleasant

December 29, 2009

The Delta Terrorist Incident: What Are The Options To Make Air Travel More Unpleasant

Dan Majestic writes from America: So, what options are open to US authorities and airlines in the light of the attempted terrorist attack on a Delta passenger plane that was flying from Europe to Detroit?We have already heard from that brave man, US President Barack Obama, who interrupted his holiday to promise increased security on all flights to America from abroad. He also said other things that obviously made every Muslim terrorist think very hard before attempting anything nasty. The US will not rest until all individuals linked to the latest attack would be found, Mr Obama implied. People like Osama Bin Laden can attest to that: the US government does not like to pussyfoot and throw its words to the wind. If it says it’s going to catch someone, it does just that. In some cases,... 

The Cult Of David Tennant Of The Dr Who Fame Is Weird. He’s Simply No Good

December 28, 2009

The Cult Of David Tennant Of The Dr Who Fame Is Weird. He’s Simply No Good

What’s this starnge adoration with David Tennant, the actor who has been playing the part of the Doctor in the BBC series Dr Who? Tennant is to acting what a cold sore is to kissing, or impotence to a loving relationship. He is hopeless, just hopeless. Would you like me to prove to you that he is hopeless in one short sentence? OK, here goes: if he had had any talent, he would not have been cast by the BBC to star in Dr Who. How about that? Simple, isn’t it? The BBC does not employ talented actors in the dramas. It’s not their style. Tennant’s main problem is that he overacts all the time. All the bloody time! There’s never a moment when he underacts, if there’s such thing as underacting, or acts in a proper sense of the word. And he does that strange stare... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

December 28, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

Today we present a selection of breaking news items from the Stirring Trouble team. Some of them are new and some have appeared on our website throughout the year. You might call it a festive mix. Breaking News: International Federation of Idiots says it feels confident that 2010 could turn out to be a feast for idiots across the world. Breaking News: Asked if he’s thinking of dumping his wife for a younger broad, President Obama reads from a prepared script and professes his love for his spouse. Breaking News: President Barack Obama says that he feels comfortable with his vanity. I’ve had loads of it ever since I was a community organiser in Chicago, he says. Breaking News: White House says President Obama knows exactly what he is doing each and every moment. At the moment he knows... 

Goings On In Obamaworld. Not Much To Write Home About, To Be Honest

December 28, 2009

Goings On In Obamaworld. Not Much To Write Home About, To Be Honest

Anton Goryunov writes: I bet a lot of people in America are now wondering whether their President has any idea at all what he is doing. Because the signs at the moment are not good: the first 11 months of Mr Obama in power resulted in only one really big achievement: getting that Nobel Peace Prize. The rest does not look encouraging. Where do I start, ladies and gents? Well, the inauguration ceremony on January 20 did not really go that well, did it? Poor Mr Obama stumbled on his oath and then had to repeat it later, within the walls of the White House, to avoid any misunderstandings. Oh dear, even his predecessor, George Bush, managed to get through the oath without a hitch. Imagine if Bush had made the same mistake? He would have probably been hounded out of office. Which, if you think about... 

Setting The Record Straight On Religion And Democracy

December 27, 2009

Setting The Record Straight On Religion And Democracy

I sometimes wonder whether some newspaper columnists in Britain actually know what they are writing about. Melanie Phillips, of the Daily Mail, is one of these scribblers who often takes on subjects that are simply above her level of expertise. She often creates an impression that she feels passionately about religion and faith and the moral high ground generally. Unfortunately, religion is one of the subjects that are not really Ms Phillips’ strong point. There she was, writing in the Mail recently about the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, accusing the British government of making life difficult for Christians. It is a fair point in itself, but Ms Phillips has demonstrated serious ignorance of the subject. So I took the time to write to her and below I include the email that... 

Checked On Someone Who Died Of Abuse Some Years Ago. Nope, He’s Still Dead

December 26, 2009

Checked On Someone Who Died Of Abuse Some Years Ago. Nope, He’s Still Dead

Alexander Nekrassov writes: Well, there you have it: a long-time friend of mine, who had died three years ago of mistreatment and abuse, is still dead. No signs of life at all. Confused, bewildered? OK, time to reveal what it is I’m talking about: it so happened that I was passing a tiny newsagent – I only purchase the organs of print in small outlets – and somehow my glance stopped on the Christmas double issue of the The Spectator magazine, selling at an extortionate price of £4.95. It was a glossy issue, with the leaders of the three main political parties in Britain – Gordon Brown of Labour, David Cameron of the Conservatives and Nick Clegg of Liberal Democrats – drawn as turkeys, with their tails showing their party colours: red, blue and yellow. I picked... 

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