If You’re Drunk And Like The Music That’s Playing, It’s Probably Trash

December 22, 2009

Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: Call me odd, call me whatever you like, but there is one thing I really can’t figure out: how is it that grown-up people follow pop music? I mean not just listen to it, in their cars or when they’re buying their groceries at supermarkets, but actually care about it and even get upset when someone tells them that it’s no big deal.

I, personally, find it weird when adults bang on about pop as if it’s some serious stuff. And it gets even weirder when they discuss some crappy bands and solo acts, know them by name and even follow their sad pathetic private lives and their stupid antics. I always want to tell them: grow up, people. Pop music is for teenagers, who’ll listen to anything if it’s got the words ‘f..k’ or ‘baby’ or ‘ecstasy’ mentioned several times in it or if the band has a weird sounding name that makes no sense.

The overwhelming majority of modern pop acts are amateurs, at best, or music deaf, at worst. When I hear some of the bands and solo performers, including those screaming ‘pop divas’ with saliva gurgling in their throats, I’m simply lost for words. How on earth, I ask myself, could these acts have ever achieved any success at all? Who listens to them, who buys their albums and who pays money to go and see them play live?
It’s just beyond me.

I can understand people liking some of the old greats, who could at least write great tunes and entertain the crowds. Although I must confess that as I got older I started to realise that even the greatest of pop music pales into insignificance compared to jazz, blues and classics. Yes, there are good pop tracks, and you can listen to them from time to time, and use them as background music at a party, but they are not what real music is all about. It’s not something that you should treat seriously when you reach a certain age.

Here’s a test for you: try getting drunk and listening to good jazz or classical music. I bet you wouldn’t be able to last for long. You won’t like it very much. Good jazz and classical music are not for intoxicated minds. You have to make an effort to appreciate them, but once you get into the groove of things, you will never look back. But if you listen to pop while drunk, you’ll love it to death: primitive tunes, simple repetitive lyrics and mostly very amateurish vocals. And, if you’re watching a video, you’d get to see the ‘dancing’ as well: a mixture of aerobics, erratic moves and robot like movements. In all honesty, anyone can sing and dance like that.

And yet, supposedly sane grown-up people sneak into music department stores, picking up records and music DVDs that are intended for teenagers. These over-grown pop fans would never confess to buying most of the stuff that they play at home or in their cars. It’s just like with watching the box: you would hear people saying that they never even switch it on and yet, a few moments later, they betray their knowledge of most of the latest popular TV shows and who has won which stupid TV contest.

That is why, by the way, karaoke rubbish like the X-Factor or American Idol have become so popular. No one bothers anymore to listen to good music, even to good pop. I bet you that this downfall in public music taste will soon produce acts that would not be able to hold a tune together even for several seconds. Already on many records you can hear bands playing and singing out of key. And that is on recorded tracks, made in studios and selected out of around 10,000 versions.

So next time when you’ve had a few and like the music that is playing, remember: it’s probably trash.

– End –

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