Browse > Home / Let's Be Cynical / Curing Baldness And Learning Mandarin In A Week: Things That Mugs Fall For

Curing Baldness And Learning Mandarin In A Week: Things That Mugs Fall For

December 24, 2009

Curing Baldness And Learning Mandarin In A Week: Things That Mugs Fall ForDan Majestic writes: Have you, by any chance, stumbled on adverts in which companies offer people to post them their gold jewellery, and anything else made out of gold, and expect to receive a great price for them? When I first saw an ad like that, I thought it was a joke. You know, a bunch of practical jokers got together and paid for an ad to make people laugh. Festive season and all that.But then I heard that it was for real and that people were actually sending their gold items into nowhere. I have no idea what they got for their valuables, and whether they got anything at all, but I personally think that this whole scheme was targeted at mugs. Pure and simple. I mean, how stupid can you be to fall for an offer like that? It’s just beyond me, honestly.

And speaking of mugs, how about those ads for curing baldness? You know, they include a photo of some bloke’s head, with practically no hair on it, and then they show you another top, this time covered with hair. And it’s supposed to be the same guy on both photos. And people pay a fortune for some shampoos and lotions and vitamins and wash their hair, or what’s left of it, and rub lotions into their bald scalps and take supplements. And it goes on forever, even though everyone knows that once you’ve lost your hair, there’s nothing you can do about it. Just look at Prince Charles and his elder son, William: they could have afforded to buy themselves the best lotions in the world, but, alas both are losing the war with baldness in a spectacular fashion.

But that is how it is with mugs: they just don’t get it, do they? Just like they don’t get it that you can’t be fat one day and then, several weeks later, shed all that weight. Once again, photo images of people are provided that show two different individuals: one really fat and the other quite trim. And it is supposedly the same person, and the magical weight loss happened in the space of a couple of months or so, and it had all to do with taking pills or drinking some strange shakes every morning.

Losing weight is a serious industry and, from what I hear, makes a lot of money every year, catering for people who think that they can continue to gobble tonnes of food, but pop a few pills along the way and lose a couple of stone in a week or two. Losing weight, of course, takes much longer and involves a lot of effort, but do mugs want to know? Nope, they don’t.

Just like they fall for these promotions of strange looking mechanisms that supposedly allow skinny individuals to develop a serious sixpack in days, and go on to win the Mr Universe competition. Again, the trick is in the images that are provided. Some bodybuilder would be smiling at you, implying that he used some weird looking contraption for a few minutes every day and, in no time, had developed a body of a Greek god. The fact that he probably spent all his life, pumping iron and taking anabolic steroids, somehow gets lost in this promotion.

And let’s not forget another mugs’ favourite: learning a foreign language in a couple of weeks, using a set of CDs. Mandarin anyone? No problem, just listen to the CDs and repeat, endlessly. In no time at all you’ll be ordering food in Chinese restaurants in their native tongue.

How bizarre is that? Who on earth thinks that they can learn a foreign language like that? How about just buying a phrase book and using it to communicate with the locals?

But the biggest things that mugs fall for – and we are talking here about millions of people – is the so-called designer wear swindle. First of all, let’s get this straight: designer wear is about individual items produced in tiny quantities, sometimes even as a singular item. That is what is called ‘designer wear’. When it is mass produced, mostly in China, it is called overpriced clothing for mugs, who are prepared to spend a fortune for an imprint of some designer label on an item of clothing that has been produced for about 100 million people. Designer wear it ain’t.

And there is more stuff for mugs. Creams that make wrinkles disappear, penis enlargement pills, cheap shitty cars that run better than fancy ones, gambling that makes you rich, deodorants that let you pull stunning broads, tooth paste that makes you teeth as white as if you just walked out of a dentist’s office. Not to mention medicines that work on your cold or even flu in minutes, so you can go about your business without a care in the world. And how about cheap holiday packages that are presented as a wonderful opportunity to live in luxury for a fraction of the real price. It usually turns out to be shitty hotels with a construction site beside them and a 30-minute trip by bus to the seaside. Because you can’t get a luxury holiday for cheap. It’s as simple as that.

Mugs fall for this sort of rubbish all the time. It is, as we are told, all part of the free market.

– End –

Related posts:

  1. Why I Doubt It That The Young Generation Will Fall For The Beatles. They’re Just Too Good

    Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: As the Beatles launch their biggest ever comeback in years, with a video game and digitally remastered 13-album box set...

  2. President Robert Mugabe Has Turned 85 Last Week. The Nation And The Whole World Rejoice

    R.F.Wilson writes: That favourite politician of ours, President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe, has turned 85 last week. We even held a party at StirringTroubleInternationally...

  3. On The Politics Of Dating. And Men Showing Off

    Adam Lovejoy writes: Today we discuss the politics of dating for men. Big new theme in social intercourse. Many, many unanswered quiestions remaining. How...

  4. Next Week In London Promises To Be An Eventful One. In More Ways Than You Can Imagine

    R.F.Wilson writes: Where do I start, ladies and gentlemen? How can I best describe to you the importance of the gathering next week in London...

Category: Let's Be Cynical  · No Comments »
Tags: , , , ,

Would you like to add a comment?