It’s this time of year again when StirringTroubleInternationally gives out silver plated dildos to people and institutions that have left a distinct mark on the proceedings of the past year. So, without wasting any time, let me present the six winners of the International Taking The Piss Award of 2009, listed according to the number of votes they have received.The first winner of this year’s contest is the Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee, for unanimously deciding to give the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 to US President Barack Obama, whose nomination was submitted 11 days after his inauguration ceremony in January 20. We, at StirringTroubleInternationally, voted overwhelmingly to include the Nobel Committee into the list of winners for 2009. Its decision to award the biggest peace prize in the world to Mr Obama is an example of taking the piss to a level never seen before.
Our next winner is President Obama himself, for having the cheek to accept the Nobel Peace Prize. Mr Obama has not only delivered his prepared acceptance speech in Oslo with great conviction, but also managed to look like a man who actually deserved to get the prize. The fact that only a couple of weeks before that President Obama decided to send another 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan, to liven up the war there, added more poignancy to the whole occasion.
The third International Taking The Piss Award goes to British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, who singlehandedly bankrupted his country, for several generations to come, in order to bail out failed banks, mostly Scottish ones, while pretending that he was saving his own country and the world as a whole from the financial crisis. This was an outstanding achievement for an unelected politician and the repercussions of this will probably reverberate for centuries, moving Britain down the list of developed nations and putting it firmly somewhere between Malaysia and Burma in 20 years’ time. The great thing about Mr Brown is that he still does not accept that he has done anything wrong. And if that does not deserve the International Taking The Piss Award, then we don’t know what does.
At number four in the list of our winners is the Chinese communist leadership that has managed to pretend throughout 2009 that the Chinese economy was still functioning, and even demonstrating signs of growth. Chinese leaders, who all dye their hair black to look younger, have demonstrated a remarkable ability to keep straight faces, when talking about China’s rapid economic development. It was a pleasure to see these fine people, posing as fervent fans of the free market and banging the drum of economic boom. The beauty of it all is that not only do the 1.3 billion Chinese play along with this game but that the whole of the international community does the same, which makes this International Taking The Piss Award all the more inspiring for other countries with virtual economies, like India, Brazil, Russia and Argentine.
The fifth International Taking The Piss Award of 2009 goes to the organisers and delegates of the UN sponsored Copenhagen climate conference, an outstanding gathering from the point of taking the piss. The delegates stood their ground, even though it had been revealed in the wake of the conference that the scientists, who had prepared most of the arguments in favour of global warming, actually made up the facts to suit their agendas. That did not put off the delegates of the conference, though, who enjoyed the hospitality of Danish hookers and the free booze and food.
Another winner of the Taking The Piss Award of 2009 is the European Union, for appointing those two giants of politics, former Belgian Prime Minister, Herman Van Rompuy, and that stunning looking Baroness Ashton as the EU President and the EU foreign policy chief, respectively. This was a brilliant example of taking the piss in a very calm and cool manner, without really bothering what other parts of the world would think.
We are also giving conciliatory Taking The Piss prizes and small dildos to people who did not get enough votes to get into the top six. They go to:
Russian President, Dmitry Medvedev, for doing absolutely nothing all year and letting Vladimir Putin, his mentor, run the country;
Chancellor Angela Merkel, for pretending to understand what she is talking about;
Afghan President, Hamid Karzai, for winning a rigged election and staying on to see to it that Western aid to his country continues to flow in the right direction;
Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England, who has managed to provide outstanding statistics throughout the year in order to hide the recession in Britain from prying eyes;
Chairman of the US Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, who singlehandedly put an end to the economic crisis in the US by saying that it was over;
The BBC, for pretending to be an impartial public broadcaster, while actually operating as a propaganda machine for the loony Left.
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