Football Fans Devastated By News Of John Terry’s Infidelity. He Let Us All Down, They Say

January 31, 2010

Football Fans Devastated By News Of John Terry’s Infidelity. He Let Us All Down, They Say

Adam Lovejoy writes: Millions of football fans across England are trying to come to terms with the revelation that their idol, Chelsea and national squad captain, John Terry, has been shagging a lingerie model behind his wife’s back. What they find even harder to stomach is that the bird in question was the then ex-WAG of Terry’s former Chelsea mate and drinking buddy, Wayne Bridge.‘It’s heart breaking, innit,’ was the response of several thousand Chelsea fans, as they gathered at Stanford Bridge to hold a vigil in memory of Terry’s reputation as a devout family man and a great dad to his two kids. Speaker after speaker pointed out at the importance of not confusing Stanford Bridge with Wayne Bridge, saying that one was a stadium and the other a midfielder.... 

This Is No Laughing Matter. The Infighting In The Chinese Leadership Is Turning Nasty

January 31, 2010

This Is No Laughing Matter. The Infighting In The Chinese Leadership Is Turning Nasty

Martin McCauley writes: Is there a coup in the making in China? The situation at the top is getting pretty heated, with two groups positioning against each other. It’s like a boxing match, of sorts… In the blue corner of the ring is that master of knockouts, President of China, Hu Jintao, and his preferred followers from the Chinese Communist Youth League (CYL). In the red corner is Vice-President Xi Jinping, the President in waiting, and the sons of former high ranking Party and military officials, otherwise known as princelings. The final round of this epic boxing match will be fought out at the 18th Communist Party Congress in 2012. According to the existing tradition, Mr Hu is supposed to relinquish his powers and step down as President and head of the Communist Party and Mr... 

Pardon Me For Asking, But Was Blair Taking The Piss At The Chilcot Inquiry?

January 30, 2010

Pardon Me For Asking, But Was Blair Taking The Piss At The Chilcot Inquiry?

Thomas Mathew writers: Pardon me for asking, but was Tony Blair taking the piss while giving evidence to the Chilcot inquiry into the war in Iraq on Friday or was he serious? Less than 48 hours have passed since Mr Blair appeared in front of Sir John Chilcot and other members of the committee, yet hard questions are being asked already. Was Tony pulling a fast one when he said that his past insistence that Iraq could deploy its weapons of mass destructions in the space of 45 minutes was no big deal? And how about his statement that he knew ‘beyond any doubt’ that Saddam Hussein had the nukes, while everyone else had no such information? Strange, very strange. Was Blair on something by any chnace when he was giving evidence? And is it true that he was disguised as an Arab woman when he left... 

The London Conference On Afghanistan Was A Failure. For A Very Obvious Reason

January 30, 2010

The London Conference On Afghanistan Was A Failure. For A Very Obvious Reason

R.F.Wilson writes: It all comes down to one thing when you have a big international gathering: whether booze is served at it in abundance. If it flows like the Mississippi, or the Nile, then things tend to go smoothly and no hasty decisions are made. Quite often no decisions are taken at all, which is usually the best outcome possible. But if the booze is limited or, as it happened at the London conference on Afghanistan, is not served at all, then things tend to get out of control.It was a huge mistake to ban alcohol at the Afghan gathering. Gigantic miscalculation. The idea was to suck up to Muslim countries that were heavily present in London. Muslims, you see, don’t drink, or at least are not supposed to drink, so the hosts figured it would be better to have no booze at all. Especially... 

The Chilcot Inquiry Missed A Crucial Question While Quizzing Tony Blair

January 29, 2010

The Chilcot Inquiry Missed A Crucial Question While Quizzing Tony Blair

Thomas Mathew writes: Well, there you have it: Tony Blair has appeared in front of the Chilcot inquiry into the war in Iraq, saying that he has no regrets about lying to the nation and sending British troops to take out Saddam Hussein. That is how he is, Tone. He is convinced that he did everyone a huge favour and will be remembered as a hero and a straightforward sort of guy. No one really expected Blair to repent or say sorry – he doesn’t do sorry – but he really bit the biscuit on occasions, inventing things, twisting facts and even distorting official documents by reading them out selectively.Still, most people, who were watching Blair give evidence, were hoping to hear one crucial question from the inquiry that overshadowed everything else. Way back in 2005, in April,... 

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

January 28, 2010

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present another selection of breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.Breaking News: President Barack Obama announces in his State of the Union address that he will make many more promises this year that he does not intend to keep. Breaking News: White House says President Obama will be stating the blindingly obvious throughout most of 2010. Breaking News: Confusion grows as it emerges that more than 50 per cent of the Obama Administration consists of officials who served in the previous Republican one. Breaking News: Vice President Joe Biden reveals that his latest urine specimen was not just a joy to look at but tasted like expensive beer. Breaking News: Basking in free publicity Prime Minister Gordon Brown talks sweet nothings at the London conference on Afghanistan. Breaking... 

The British Nation Rejoices. The Economy Dips Upwards

January 27, 2010

The British Nation Rejoices. The Economy Dips Upwards

Adam Lovejoy writes: The British people are rejoicing. The news that the economy has dipped upwards by 0.1 per cent in the last quarter of 2009 sparked mass celebrations in towns and cities across the land, with people hugging and tongue kissing total strangers. No more suffering, no more penny pinching, no more house repossessions, no more uncertainty. The good times are back again.In London jubilation spilled out of offices and private accommodations on the streets yesterday with people hardly believing their good fortune. A large crowd quickly gathered outside the luxury building that houses the Office of National Statistics that had announced the end of the recession at 11.23 am exactly. People were waiving and cheering and singing. Some were holding large photos of the Labour cabinet and... 

Pardon Me For Asking, But Who The Hell Cares That Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Have Split Up?

January 26, 2010

Pardon Me For Asking, But Who The Hell Cares That Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Have Split Up?

Dan Majestic writes: Pardon me for asking, but who the hell cares that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up? Does it make any difference to anyone whether they live together or not? Does it really matter that they haven’t had sex for a year because of Brad’s premature ejaculation, or whatever else his problem was? I for one don’t give a toss what they’re up to in their so-called private life, that has been so public all these years that they might as well have lived in a glass house and broadcast their every word to each other on the loud speaker. A very rare, occasional word, I hasten to add. I’m really surprised that anyone out there cares what these two average acting talents are doing. The world will not stop, you know, if they go their separate ways. Don’t... 

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

January 26, 2010

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present another selection of breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: President Barack Obama will announce in his State of the Union address that he’s been nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature for 2010. Breaking News: White House denies reports that most of the aid sent to Haiti has up to now been used to accommodate American troops there. Breaking News: Obama Administration reveals that it is treating the new Senator from Massachusetts, Scott Brown, as a porn star. Breaking News: White House political advisor David Axelrod admits that he is related to Osama Bin Laden through his wife’s sister. Breaking News: US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke denies rumours that his nickname on Wall-Street is ‘Will Do Anything For Money Ben’. Breaking... 

EU Wants A Common Language And Common Look Introduced In Europe Soon

January 25, 2010

EU Wants A Common Language And Common Look Introduced In Europe Soon

R.F.Wilson writes from Brussels: In line with its policy of fostering closer links between the peoples of Europe, the European Commission, headed by that fine specimen of a man, President Jose Manuel Barroso, has proposed the introduction of a Common European Language (CEL) and a Common European Appearance (CEA) that would help smooth the differences between nations and create a federal superstate at the earliest convenience. At a recent meeting of the EC the commissioners approved the draft proposal, presented to them by President Barroso, concerning CEL and CEA. It was decided that the common language should be based primarily on sign language and active gesticulation generally. As Mr Barroso explained, sign language is already universal cross the world and Europe is no exception. ‘If... 

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