Pardon Me For Asking, But Who The Hell Cares That Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Have Split Up?

January 26, 2010

Brad Pitt nad Angelina Jolie Dan Majestic writes: Pardon me for asking, but who the hell cares that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up? Does it make any difference to anyone whether they live together or not? Does it really matter that they haven’t had sex for a year because of Brad’s premature ejaculation, or whatever else his problem was?

I for one don’t give a toss what they’re up to in their so-called private life, that has been so public all these years that they might as well have lived in a glass house and broadcast their every word to each other on the loud speaker. A very rare, occasional word, I hasten to add.

I’m really surprised that anyone out there cares what these two average acting talents are doing. The world will not stop, you know, if they go their separate ways.

Don’t you worry, we’ll still be blessed by their public appearances, on an individual basis or with their new squeezes, and we’ll still be seeing them popping up in movies. In the meantime the hacks, who take us for total idiots, would be coming up with all sorts of crappy stories about how Brad and Angelina ‘drifted apart’ and how they ‘finally decided to call it a day’. Oh yes, and how they are fighting for the custody of their numerous Rainbow children and how they would divide however many millions that they have.

On a more personal level, I’d like to point out that both Pitt and Jolie were not exactly fun to look at. The broad with her pumped up lips and weird look in her eyes resembled a fish. Not to mention those tattoos of hers that really made her femininity stand out. I tell you, sex workers in Albania look more appealing. And Pitt, to be honest, had a serious attitude problem, having convinced himself that he was a sex god, and came across as a bit of weirdo. Not to mention that his teenage facial hairs that curled on his chin and resembled the pubic hair of a female Panda bear looked really unsettling. These two people, Pitt and Jolie, were so in love with themselves that they really found it hard to find any space in their hearts for each other.

But tell me this: do you really care how much money who gets out of this divorce? Put your hand on your heart and say: I’m honestly very concerned for the future of Brad and Angelina and I’ll be watching closely how their divorce will play out. I will also be losing my sleep over the possibility of Brad getting back together with that stunning actress Jennifer Anniston, who’s made such a huge impression on me in the classic comedy TV series, Friends.

If you would be prepared to say things like that, you should have your head examined, you sad pathetic wankers. You should get a life and stop paying attention to what celebs do. You simply support those newspapers and magazines that get away with reporting irrelevant stuff, without really giving a shit what people really want to read. Don’t you understand that by buying all those copies you are simple supporting the media that has long ago forgotten what real news is all about. Think about it next time, when you pick up a copy of some tabloid, with a couple of brain dead celebs on its first page, or a gossip magazine.

F..k celebs, that’s what I say. In good, proper way, that is.

– End –

  • Pantagruella

    The extent to which people are about any particular issue can be spread along a spectrum from total indifferent to obsessive fascination. You might argue that war is more newsworthy than an actor, or you can argue the other way. You can argue that celebrities deserve privacy or that celebrities can expect their privacy to be invaded.

    Angelina Jolie is in her thirties but is still regarded as a good-looking actress. She has been in some real films but she also picks roles in the so-called psychotronic films. She is perhaps the best known of the Gothic actresses, a woman with attitude. She’s also been involved with charity work in Cambodia. She’s not the least interesting person in the world.

  • Virgie Lenox

    All you can do is watch all of Brad Pitt’s movies to see how deversified he is. I love you Brad! Keep up all the goodness you and Angie are doing. The two of you are amazing together