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More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present another long awaited selection of spoof breaking items. From the Stirring Trouble team.

Breaking News: UN Secretary General, Ban Ki Moon, reveals that he often sees himself as a god and as such demands special attention and care.

Breaking News: The World Economic Forum in Davos approves the idea of staging another financial crash. To test taxpayers’ resilience.

Breaking News: President Obama says he is now ready to start a war with China. We’ve got to get some big idea on board, he says. And war with China would be just the thing.

Breaking News: White House admits that huge US debts to the Chinese did play a role in deciding to nuke them at some point in the near future.

Breaking News: Goldman Sachs’ chief executive Lloyd Blankfein says he’s paying himself $100 million in bonuses because he really needs the money.

Breaking News: Violent protests break out in Washington as future astronauts demand that President Obama reinstates the Moon manned mission.

Breaking News: Vice President Joe Biden says stories about his promiscuity are spread by people who don’t know that he’s into cross-dressing only.

Breaking News: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reveals that she thinks of herself as a honky tonk woman with an attitude.

Breaking News: Caught smelling a woman’s D-cup bra in his office, Bill Clinton denies everything.

Breaking News: Cuban President Raul Castro admits that he always thought that Karl Marx was a broad with serious facial hair problems.

Breaking News: Victims of the earthquake in Haiti say they would like to be buried under the rubble and then rescued all over again. We were looked after well on those day, they say.

Breaking News: Former President George Bush tells his fans he is feeling great after getting drunk three nights in a row. The saliva is no longer dripping and I can see things, he explains.

Breaking News: Disgraced former presidential candidate John Edwards has been calling children of several senators and telling them he’s their dad.

Breaking News: Chinese leadership admits to shitting itself after threatening the US with sanctions. We sometimes lose perception of reality, Beijing says.

Breaking News: British Prime Minister Gordon Brown denies rumours that he was a rent boy in Edinburgh in his youth. I was a militant Marxist, he says. Marxists don’t do sex for money.

Breaking News: Tony Blair admits that he loves money purely for esthetical reasons.

Breaking News: English FA to impose strict moral code on all players in the national team: get neutered or kiss your place goodbye.

Breaking News: Afghan President Hamid Karzia says his good looks and great fashion sense help him earn money on the side when he isn’t doing anything official.

Breaking News: Prostitutes in Brussels stage a Tight Vagina Day to dispel the myth that virginity is a good thing.

Breaking News: Thousands of Pakistani officials cross into Afghanistan to pose as ‘reformed Taliban’ and get paid by NATO.

Breaking News: Russian President Dmitry Medvedev reveals that he still listens to his hard rock and heavy metal records. And laughs menacingly.

Breaking News: Kremlin declares Russia to be a superpower. La-la-la, spokesman says, we don’t care what others think.

Breaking News: Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero voted biggest Mr Bean lookalike ever. I’m humbled and pissed off at the same time, he says.

Breaking News: Japan’s government reveals that its ministers are the happiest people on earth. All thanks to rampant corruption and fulfilling sex lives.

Breaking News: Iran launches a rocket into space with a mouse, a turtle and a can of worms on it. Let the world tremble at the might of our technology, Tehran says.

Breaking News: An anonymous buyer who bought Alberto Giacometti’s sculpture at Sotheby’s for $104.3 million turns out to be Vladimir Putin, who says he did it out of boredom.

Breaking News: Russian mob reveals that it funded the film Avatar. We funded Titanic as well, mob says, so we knew what we were going for.

Breaking News: American pop sensation, Lady Gaga, admits that if she could hold a tune she would not need to dress silly and talk about her drug fuelled past.

Breaking News: British literary sensation and assisted suicide proponent, Terry Prattchet, says he wants a death to die for: a Viagra overdose.

– End –

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