Marriage Is To Be Banned In Europe Soon. Well, Sooner Than Some People Think

February 11, 2010

Anton Goryunov writes: The word in Brussels is that the European Union will be looking to ban marriage as a form of cohabitation between a man and woman in the not so distant future. Well, sooner than some people think.

The idea behind this exciting project is that the new EU constitution, dubbed ‘the Lisbon treaty’ and adopted with such eagerness by all the 27 member countries, snubs religion anyway and thus opens the doors to the good old tested pagan ways of people shagging each other silly, without any commitment. The motto here is this: F..k those pesky kids with their stupid needs for a ‘mummy’ and a ‘daddy’. Let them wonder around, free as animals, and copulate when they feel like it.

The move to ban marriages is bolstered by the fact that most senior and middle-ranking EU officials are compulsive adulterers and pleasure seekers. Escort agencies and bordellos in Brussels have been reporting a huge growth in business, helped by the vastly increasing numbers of EU bureaucrats. ‘We’re on a roll here,’ one madam told me. ‘We have so many requests from the EU for quality pussy that we’re, quite frankly, struggling to find new girls to work for us. Mind you, demand for young handsome lads is on the rise as well. And it’s not just the women clients who ask for their services.’

More and more swingers’ clubs are opening their doors in Brussels, with swinging becoming a favourite past time for many EU officials. Some commissioners are known for their love of swapping their spouses, to spice up their sex lives. ‘Staying faithful to each other is so yesterday,’ one official told me. ‘Who wants to be sleeping with some old hag or an impotent fool on Viagra when there are so many hot married babes and guys out there. F..k fidelity, that’s what I say.’

Polls conducted by the European Commission, in a discreet manner across the pubs and bars in Europe, point to a growing number of married people saying that they would rather lead a life of debauchery, perversion and sexual degradation than come back home every evening to spend time with people they don’t really like anymore. 67 per cent of respondent, questioned when drunk or stoned, confessed to dreaming of wild sexual practices, with total strangers, and, in some cases, with pets and even cattle and wild beasts. Only a small minority of people polled said that they would prefer a stable relationship, involving commitment and marriage vows.

Wild orgies that have become a regular occurrence in Brussels are a testament to the new thinking that has penetrated the EU echelons of power. Who needs commitment when you can change your partners every other week, or even every day? As some seasoned observers point out, real freedom and democracy have always been about choice. And marriage is the one thing that denies people any choice, once they shackle themselves to this arrangement.

Connoisseurs of kinky sexual practices are especially encouraged by the way the EU has shown its preference to partnerships outside marriage. They are also keen on seeing the age of consent going down to 14′ like it is already in Holland and several other countries, or 12, like it is planned by the Labour government in Britain, should it win the next general election.

With such moods prevailing across Europe it is only a matter of time really when marriage is ousted from the EU as an outdated form of cohabitation. As Karl Marx and Fridrich Engels pointed out in their works, marriage is a vile bourgeois ritual that has no future in a world where communist ideas will prevail.

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