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Village Idiot Look Is Going To Be Mega Huge This Year, Fashion Experts Say

February 15, 2010

Pile Of ClothesDan Majestic writes: The village idiot look is going to be mega huge this year. That was the verdict passed by leading fashion experts, who had gathered for their annual piss up on the eve of London Fashion Week to discuss what’s going to be hot on the catwalks and in the shops in the next couple of seasons. Strong demand for clothes that make people look like degenerates is predicted this spring and summer, dispelling the myth that the village idiot look, or VIL as some in the industry call it, is on its way out.

‘VIL is something that allows people to express themselves fully,’ Juicy Freddy, a self-confessed fashion guru and a drug addict told Stirring Trouble. ‘It has a feel of vibrancy and freedom about it, not to mention that any self-respecting bird or bloke would rather be seen dead than show off their anatomy or hide their underwear under their jeans or track bottoms. Who the hell needs underwear if it’s not showing?’

So what can we expect from this year’s fashion trends that ponder to the followers of the village idiot look? The feeling among fashion experts is that the trousers and jeans would be definitely going down this year to reveal more of the naked flesh. That crack between the buttocks that had appeared only modestly in the past several years is now going to be flaunted in all its glorious detail. Women will be downing their jeans to below vagina levels, especially as part of evening wear, while men will keep their trousers slightly below their balls, to have that action packed macho idiot look. Wearing underwear would be actually optional this year, to make casual sex with total strangers much easier.

For young people, who are not afraid to experiment, jeans and casual trousers pushed down to the knee level will be all the rage. Though hampering the movement, ever so slightly, the knee hugging look would add a touch of class to the swagger, making young people look cool and sophisticated, in an idiotic sort of way. Great new styles for pubic hair would add a feel of mystery and intrigue, sending a clear ‘f..k me’ message to perfect strangers. A touch of gonorrhoea or syphilis would give the village idiot look a more adventurous appeal.

As for exposed cleavage, it is definitely going to stay in women’s fashion – to compliment the village idiot, or idiotess, look. As one stylist, Judy Touchmethere, said, ‘Exposed breasts contribute so much in fashion. What is a dress or a T-shirt if they cover the tits completely? Just a piece of fabric, that’s all. But hang them by the nipples, and it’s a totally different thing. It screams: touch me, I don’t bite!’

Shredded garments are going to add more edge to the village idiot look this year. Designers are no longer satisfied with making a tear here and there on jeans or denim jackets. The village idiot look is now all about disintegrating clothes, things that are on the verge of falling off people at any time. Old is not just new, it’s brand new. Creased is ironed and black is white. Clashing colours are in, while matching ones are out. Tattoos that compliment the village idiot look are a must this year, with humorous imgages of insects and signs like ‘F..k off, I’m busy!’ and ‘Don’t even think about it!’ being the hot favourites.

For men shortwith buttocks falling out of them will be big this season. There is also talk that some designers will finally introduce the long awaited jeans that fit around the ankles. For women see through low cut jeans would be all the rage, with the bolder lot skipping underwear altogether and going commando. Washed and combed hair would stay out and dishevelled and unwashed styles prevail.

For lovers of the extreme village idiot look there would be T-shirts, shirts, jeans and skirts covered in authentic dried vomit, shit and bird droppings. Urine spots are also predicted to be huge this season and unzipped flies are going to be a must, if you want to be even considered to be an idiot. Or idiotess.

As for body odours, well, fashion expert agree that followers of the village idiot look would probably know best how to create their own specific smell. As Patty Goingnowhere, a village idiot look connoisseur, put it, ‘if you don’t wash for weeks the BO comes to you naturally.’

– End –

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