More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

April 19, 2010

Today we present another fine selection of spoof breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.

Breaking News: White House says President Obama would have loved to party at the funeral of President Lech Kaczynski but, alas, Mrs Obama doesn’t like to wear black so the trip was cancelled.

Breaking News: White House says President Obama will continue to read from the autocue religiously. He’s a very religious man, White House explains.

Breaking News: Pentagon admits that the term ‘smart bombs’ is just a joke. These babies kill indiscriminately, spokesman says.

Breaking News: Millions of men in America are getting ready to celebrate Bill Clinton Day when adultery is compulsory.

Breaking News: Donald Trump finally reveals the secret of his comb-over and the way it helped him overcome his natural shyness.

Breaking News: British government holds an emergency meeting to think of ways to delay the return of 1 million Brits stranded by the volcano eruption to save on carbon emissions.

Breaking News: As the man who blinded Gordon Brown in one eye emerges from obscurity calls to give him a knighthood come from all parts of the political divide.

Breaking News: Prince William and his girlfriend Kate Middleton vote the grooviest couple by readers of Retard magazine.

Breaking News: Pakistani governments says it is enjoying the civil war in the country immensely. We hope the Americans like it as well, Islamabad says.

Breaking News: Chinese government says that men with a high sperm count are considered subversive in China. We like our men to breed modestly, Beijing says.

Breaking News: Saudi Arabia denies reports that it has gone bust. The nations is bankrupt, yes, government says, but not the Royal Family. And that’s a lot of people.

Breaking News: UN Secretary General, Ban Ki Moon, reveals that his rugged good looks help him to enjoy looking in the mirror immensely.

Breaking News: NATO says that the war in Afghanistan gives it a buzz.

Breaking News: President Sarkozy reveals that as a young lad he’d spend hours stretching his penis in the hope of becoming a porn star when he grows up.

Breaking News: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi reveals that ever since he was a little boy he wanted to get mixed up in sex scandal.

Breaking News: German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, reveals that she jumped with joy when told that she can choose any man she wants once she was elected for the second term.

Breaking News: Russian President Dmitry Medvedev admits that he often gets a feeling that he’s not really in charge of things.

Breaking News: Italian Mafia says that climate change is definitely man made. We even know the name of that man, Mafia say.

Breaking News: Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe blames colonialism for his mood swings and hatred for people generally. I am a victim of colonial rule, he says.

Breaking news: Drunken Brazilian minister says: What f..king economic boom? Who says we have a f..king economy at all.

Breaking News: Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi reveals that being a bloodthirsty psychopath helps him in his political career.

Breaking News: World Health Organisation expresses disappointment at the low number of deaths from swine flu. We thought we were on to a killer, WHO says.

Breaking News: Sudanese government releases a two CD set called: Screams From The Torture Chamber. The Best Of.

Breaking News: American screen legend, Keifer Sutherland, visits London, gets pissed and is thrown out of a strip joint as part of his promotion campaign to boost TV viewers’ awareness of his acting talents.

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Tags: Bill Clinton, Poland, President Obama