Adam Lovejoy writes: I’ll tell you something people: World Cups should have more teams playing in them and happen more often. How about 64 national teams playing, instead of the current 32, and the competition lasting 8 glorious weeks instead of the current measly 4 weeks? Or getting 128 teams to battle it out for 12 glorious weeks or more? And why can’t we have the World Cup played every two years or even every year? I’m not a football [...]

Dan  Majestic writes: So, Tony Blair is going green. No, not just dollar green, but green green. Confused, bewildered, anxious to know more? Good, that means you’re paying attention. The big news this week is that Mr Blair has been snapped up by a venture capital group from the Silicon Valley to consult them on the subject he supposedly knows so well – producing clean technologies to save the world from global warming. From now on for a mere 1 [...]

Thomas Mathew writes: As two candidates in the race for the leadership of the Labour party, former cabinet ministers David Miliband and Andy Bradshaw, call on their comrades not to raise the war in Iraq as an issue during the campaign – both having voted for it – there are quite a few other subjects that the party faithful could avoid discussing, to keep the morale from plummeting even further. For example, what is the point of mentioning the war [...]

Anton Goryunov writes: As South Korea is provoked into a tense stand-off, having discovered that North Korea was behind the sinking of one of its ships some time ago, we ask: why the hell has no one yet taken out that madman, Kim Jong Il, who has brought the world to the brink of WW3 – yet again? Did anyone have any doubts that the communist fanatics in Pyongyang would think of something to inject a dose of good old [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes: Afghan President, Hamid Karzia took serious offence to recent comments made by the visiting British Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, who called Afghanistan ‘a broken 13th century nation’, pointing out that the British troop were there not for the sake of providing education but for defending Britain’s global interests. Things got so bad at one point that there was even a suggestion that the Afghan government might declare war on Britain and invade Devon or Cornwall, just to [...]

Today we present a new selection of breaking news. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: British Petroleum insists that oil spills get better as they grow bigger. Once all the sea is covered with oil, BP says, you quickly forget how things were before the spill. Breaking News: Political crisis in Thailand fizzles out as anti-government protesters figure out that taking on the army is so 1960s. Breaking News: This year’s Cannes Film Festival lives up to its reputation [...]

Thomas Mathew writes: Stirring Trouble’s sources in the new government coalition have reported the most unbelievable excitement and euphoria taking place recently at 10 Downing Street when PM Dave Cameron and Deputy PM Nick Clegg held each other in a very tight embrace, tears of joy running down their faces. Finally David said to Nick: Have you ever thought it would end like this, Nick? Nick: Never in a million years, Dave. Dave: And now we are both here and [...]

R.F.Wilson writes: Well, there you have it: anti-government protesters in Bangkok finally called it a day and dispersed, heeding to Stirring Trouble’s warning that if they drag their protests for too long they would find themselves clashing with the World Cup in South Africa and then not a single soul in the whole world would pay any attention to their struggle and their demands. Let’s face it, billions of people, who’d be watching the World Cup, would simply have no time for Thailand. In fact, they wouldn’t [...]

Dan Majestic writes: Here’s a brain teaser for you: if you were a British serviceman in Afghanistan and you were suddenly told that living football legend and culture icon, David Beckham, was coming over with a brief visit would you: a) rejoice at the thought of meeting the husband of Victoria ‘Posh’ Beckham, the most stylish woman in the world; b) write home, telling of your excitement about the prospect of shaking the hand that touched David Beckham’s privates countless [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes: So what should the young, vibrant, unelected British government – let’s face it, not a single soul in the whole country voted for a Tory/Liberal Democrat coalition – do to sort out the crippling budget deficit? Cut public spending and get slaughtered by that very same public? Raise taxes and make people pay for the mistakes of the previous lot, risking an uprising? Default on repaying the nation’s massive debts and get sanctions imposed on Britain? Or [...]