David Golden Balls Pops Down To Afghanistan. All In The Best Possible Taste

May 23, 2010

Dan Majestic writes: Here’s a brain teaser for you: if you were a British serviceman in Afghanistan and you were suddenly told that living football legend and culture icon, David Beckham, was coming over with a brief visit would you:

a) rejoice at the thought of meeting the husband of Victoria ‘Posh’ Beckham, the most stylish woman in the world;

b) write home, telling of your excitement about the prospect of shaking the hand that touched David Beckham’s privates countless times;

c) pay no attention, as you’d be going on patrol and not knowing whether you’d be coming back alive;

d) desert, to avoid taking part in the cringing PR exercise on the part of Golden Balls.

Now call me a cynic, but I suspect that most of the answers would be option ‘c’ and, in certain extreme cases, option ‘d’ would probably be chosen. Although if you read about it in the newspapers, David made quite an impact when he visited ‘our boys’ in Afghanistan last Friday, arriving at Camp Bastion, the main British military base, where he had had a hearty breakfast, signed autographs and, as his agent explained, ‘looked drop-dead gorgeous’. ‘Scenes of British soldiers, screaming like teenage girls and fainting at the sight of David,’ Beckham’s agent added, ‘would stay in everybody’s memory for years to come. And how they all laughed when David read a joke from a note, addressing it to one of the soldiers: “What a huge weapon you have. I wish I had one like yours.”’

But enough of this celebrity razzmatazz. The big question is this: why is David Beckham allowed to use every opportunity to promote himself? Who needs to see him, strutting his stuff across the globe in the glare of publicity that he doesn’t deserve? And, finally: how old does Beckham needs to get to disappear from our sight for good?

There are some people who simply won’t take a hint and fade into oblivion where they belong. It gets really annoying when so-called celebs followed by the hacks whether they go. Especially as Beckham is really no longer past his prime in football. Not to mention that he never really says anything even remotely amusing.

I don’t know how David’s highly publicised visit to Afghanistan went, but I sure hope that the British servicemen there would forgive us for treating them like mugs.

– End –

  • Pen Sevier

    When David spoke on Sunday after receiving the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Award, he said he was receiving the award on behalf of the troops in Afghanistan. We are raising funds to help the war veterans who develop post traumatic stress disorder as a result of having served in a combat zone – present day or even as early as the second world war. We provide them with fly fishing lessons as it has been proven to be so therapeutic for them. We will also provide ongoing support for the following two years after they have completed the course so they need never feel there is no one to whom they can turn for help. On 14 May we are holding a prestigeous auction and we would like to ask if David would give us a signed shirt for this occasion that we can auction. Thank you for reading this and we look forward to hearing from you.