Today we present another selection of spoof breaking news items. Compiled by the boys from the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: At his first G8 summit Prime Minister David Cameron is forced to go through an initiation ritual by picking up a cherry from the floor with his bare buttocks. Breaking News: At a meeting with President Obama PM Cameron says things that he knows he’ll never regret. Like: ‘I’ll suck up to America like Tony Blair did.’ Breaking News: [...]

Martin McCauley writes from America: You might not know this, people, but in his CV President Barack Obama boasts extensive experience as a ‘community organiser’. Yep, that’s what he did in Chicago in the 1980s, when no one, himself included, could have imagined that he would one day end up in the White House. They say that some politicians in Washington find Mr Obama’s community organising experience unnerving. Why am I telling you this? Because President Obama is on a [...]

Dan Majestic writes: As Prime Minister David Cameron announces that British troops will stay in Afghanistan for another 5 years, ignoring all his previous statements about the conflict making no sense from the military point of view, we ask a group of distinguished experts: why the change in Mr Cameron’s stance and what is Britain’s policy on Afghanistan, if any? We provide the answers without any comments. These are raw opinions of people who know things and are not afraid [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes: After England crashed out of the world cup, losing to Germany 1:4, Stirring Trouble asked England’s manager, Fabio Capello, to comment on the game and the end result. Through an interpreter. Stirring Trouble: So, Fabio, what are your thoughts about the game with Germany? Fabio Capello: We played well today. Yes, we played very well. We scored a goal and then scored another one, but it was disallowed. If it would have been allowed, we’d have won. [...]

Anton Goryunov writes: As Canada decides to blow most of its annual budget on hosting the useless G8 and G20 summits on its soil and risks getting bankrupt we, at Stirring Trouble, ask: has the world gone totally mad or what? Who the hell needs these summits in the first place and, more importantly, why couldn’t the Canadian police and secret service simply pretend that they were proving protection on a scale not seen before in the history of providing [...]

R.F.Wilson writes: Pardon me for asking, but why is it that so many people fell for that stunt with Chancellor George ‘we’re all in this together’ Osborne’s so called austerity budget? I mean, it has the words ‘you’ve been just had’ written all over it. The bets are now on how quickly would Boy George, as he is also known, will become a billionaire when he leaves office. As a thank you gesture from the money men who were the [...]

Anton Goryunov writes: The commander of US and NATO forces in Afghanistan, General Stanley McChrystal, fell not as a result of a stray bullet or an improvised explosive device but because of his big mouth. Yes, Big Stan has made some offensive comments about his Commander-in-Chief in an interview to Rolling Stone magazine and has paid the price for that. President Obama wasted no time in summoning General McChrystal to Washington to tell him that he’s services were no longer [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes: Well wouldn’t you know it: big Bernie Madoff, who’s doing life in a US prison for singlehandedly stealing $65 billion in a Ponzi scheme, has told some of his chums on the inside that just before his arrest in 2008 he had secretly transferred $9 billion to his ‘friends’ for safe keeping. Imagine the shock the authorities got when they heard about it. Bernie, you see, had confessed to stealing all the money himself and now, all [...]

R.F.Wilson writes: Well, there you have it: Britain has its very own austerity budget. George Osborne, the youngest Chancellor of the Exchequer in British history, as we are told, has presented his package of fiscal measures to the nation, to help it save itself from, well, itself really. No more living beyond your means, was the main message. We’re all in this together, people. Even the Queen is chipping in and getting her civil list of eight million smackers a [...]

Martin McCauley writes from America: This may come as a shock to you, people, but the oil spill from Deepwater Horizon in the Gulf of Mexico is still big news in the United States. The latest development in the saga came when Tony Hayward, the BP’s boss, faced a Senate committee and came off much the worse for wear. To get over the fact that BP has no idea how to stop the oil leaking into the Gulf, Mr Hayward [...]