Dan Majestic reports from Zurich: Who cares about football and who wins the next World Cup or the one after! It’s the way Fifa votes on who gets to host the future World Cup competitions that gets everyone really excited, like it is happening now in Zurich where football world governing body has its luxury headquarters. Imagine the intrigue, the nods and the winks, the haggling over money, the mutual suspicions, the jealousy and envy and the promises of sexual [...]

Adam Lovejoy writes from Amsterdam: Women, let me ask you this: why is it that so many of you are trying to impress total strangers? How come do you make an effort to look your best when you are in public but not when you are at home with your hubby or your partner? I bet you’re wondering what I’m on about and where it’s all going. Well, let me explain myself: I’ve heard rumblings of a debate that is [...]

Anton Goryunov writes from Washington: Trust the yanks to blow an opportunity of a lifetime and reveal some really juicy stories about world leaders and politics generally. Instead, they leak some really boring stuff from their diplomatic cable traffic stating who said what to whom about someone else without giving us something really chunky to chew on. Who cares, for example, if American diplomats compared Iranian President Ahmadinejad to Adolf Hitler. What’s new in that? Of course Ahmadinejad behaves like [...]

Dan Majestic and Anton Goryunov write from London: The biggest news comes from the blogosphere where the website WikiLeaks posted the first instalment of the correspondence between the US State Department and American embassies across the world. What should we conclude from all of this? Well, first of all, we can safely assume that the yanks have leaked this information on purpose, considering how much of it actually plays into their hands. Most of the stuff that has been released [...]

Ben Delicious writes from London: How come so many people get taken for a ride with such ease? It’s like a lot of them have turned into some version of Pavlov’s dogs who respond to commands – the feeding bell rings and Rex’s saliva starts to drool – however stupid or untimely they are. Take the Christmas shopping stampede: now who on earth goes out to buy all that Chinese made junk that they don’t need when everyone’s up to [...]

Dan Majestic and Ben Delicious write from Port-au-Prince: Imagine you are living in country that has been rocked by one of the most devastating earthquakes in its history, with a cholera epidemic spreading like bushfire and a third of the population confined to tent camps: what would be at the top of your priorities? Well, if you are in Haiti, it seems the most important thing that should be on your mind is holding presidential and parliamentary elections. At least [...]

Dan Majestic writes from London: Let me tell you something about TV comedy in Britain: with very few exeptions it sucks. It’s made by people who wouldn’t know what comedy is even if its kicks them in the balls – or in the vaginas, if the occasion demanded it. I’m really fed up hearing all that crap how wonderful British TV comedy has been in the good old days and how some of the modern funny men and women have [...]

Ben Delicious writes from Washington: Well, wouldn’t you know it: just when President Barack Obama was hoping that the perception of him having a soft spot for Islam was starting to wane, bang! Out comes his 88-year-old grandmother, Sarah Omar, to reveal that during her recent pilgrimage to Mecca she prayed that her grandson converts to Islam and becomes a proper Muslim. Grandma Sarah had been accompanied on her pilgrimage by her son and Mr Obama’s uncle who has a [...]

Anton Goryunov writes from Brussels: As the crisis with the euro engulfs the European Union, rumours abound that its unelected leaders are turning to black magic to make  everyone think that the European currency remains strong and that things generally are not as bad as they look. Sources say it’s all part of the grand plan to replace mainstream religions in Europe with devil worship and the occult, that are seen as reflective of most current EU policies. One senior [...]

R.F.Wilson reports from the Square Mile: You might not be aware of it, people, but Britain’s biggest banks are actually working on plans to cut their bonus payouts and, what’s even funnier, to increase lending to small businesses. When I hear things like that emanating from the City, I can’t stop laughing. Do these guys think we’re all idiots or what? Do they actually believe that we will buy all this rubbish about bankers doing sensible things at a loss [...]