TV Presenter Affair Injunction Story: Some Of Our Readers Have Guessed Who It Is

April 30, 2011

TV Presenter Affair Injunction Story: Some Of Our Readers Have Guessed Who It Is

Ted Obvious writes from London: Well wouldn’t you know it! Several readers of Stirring Trouble have seen though our tricks and guessed the identity of the famous married TV presenter, who took out a High Court super-injunction to ban journalists reporting about his affair with a woman at work, who was sacked unceremoniously after the fling became known to her bosses. Yes, the lucky few have actually realised that the three articles that we have posted on our website devoted to the scandal contained clues to the man in question, cunningly hidden in the general banter. Very clever of them and we will have to send them prizes for that. As Stirring Trouble is basically a serious media outlet and is currently the subject of a takeover bid by a big company, we could not publish the name of the... 

The Royal Wedding: It Was A Great Opportunity To Sort Out A Problem While No One Was Watching

April 30, 2011

The Royal Wedding: It Was A Great Opportunity To Sort Out A Problem While No One Was Watching

R.F.Wilson writes from Cairo: You know what sucks in our 21st century? No, no the abysmal stuff they show on the box and not the lyrics in pop songs, with that deeply annoying word ‘baby’ creeping into every bloody sentence. And not the useless gadgets that take over people’s lives and turn them into idiots. No, I’m talking about the total inability of the so-called international community to deal with dictators, in a quick and effective way, without vast numbers of people getting killed. It’s as if the death merchants, the arms producers that is, and the money men who fund them are calling all the shots in the 21st century, telling politicians to start wars against tyrants, so that they can test their news weapons and dispose of the vast supplies of outdated ones. Take that punk... 

Of Football Games. Outside The Pitch

April 29, 2011

Of Football Games. Outside The Pitch

Ben Delicious writes from Zurich: Sorry to disappoint some of you football fans out there, but I suppose the beautiful game is probably the most corrupt sport of them all. In its professional capacity that is. I don’t even know which other sport can compete with football, apart maybe from athletics where it has become impossible to set world records without using some sort of dodgy performance enhancing substances. But that is the sort of corruption that doesn’t really bother all that many people, as you really have to be thick to imagine that world records in, say in 100 meters, are broken by athletes who train hard and stick to a rigid diet. Anyway, back to football, and Fifa’s president Sepp Blatter is bracing himself for a challenge on July 1,when he stands for re-election for a fourth... 

Royal Wedding An Elaborate Hoax Filmed For An Episode Of The Real Hustle

April 29, 2011

Royal Wedding An Elaborate Hoax Filmed For An Episode Of The Real Hustle

Ted Obvious writes from London: As the British nation starts cooling off after the high drama and emotion of the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, Stirring Trouble can sensationally reveal that it was an elaborate hoax that will be used in one of the episodes of BBC’s quirky TV series, The Real Hustle. Yes, a permission was asked from the Queen to stage a well thought through production of the ‘royal wedding’, with two actors, who look exactly like Prince William and Kate Middleton, stepping in to imitate the happy couple getting married in Westminster Abbey. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, who is a well known prankster and practical joker, was told about the plan and agreed to take part in it without any reservations. Mr Williams, who holds... 

White House Challenges Donald Trump To Prove He Wears His Own Hair

April 29, 2011

White House Challenges Donald Trump To Prove He Wears His Own Hair

Dan Majestic writes from Washington: In a dramatic turn of events the White House has chllenged Donald Trump to prove that he wears his own hair and that it’s not a wig. The move comes after Mr Trump, who has a highly sophisticated follicle contraption on his head, forced President Barack Obama to release the full version of his birth certificate to the general public, countering allegations that he is not an American national and was born in the wilderness of some distant country. As speculation about the President’s origins fuelled by Mr Trump was getting out of control, President Obama had had no choice but to silence his critics by uploading his birth document to the White House’s website and then making a passionate public address to the nation, pleading to accept him as one... 

More Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team

April 28, 2011

More Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team

Today we present more pearls of wisdom. From the Stirring Trouble team. For reasons beyond our control most of them deal with the royal wedding that is about as royal as a Premiership football match. The government in Britain is encouraging people to hold street parties to celebrate the royal wedding. Anything to cover up the mess in the economy. William & Kate – two simple souls blessed with the task of finishing off the British monarchy. Those mad mullahs who plan to protest against the royal wedding. They may have a point you know. Pippa Middleton, every truck driver’s idea of a classy broad. William & Kate – the soap opera. He’ll be bald, playing computer games all day, while she’ll be banging the palace staff. As I understand it, while in Kenya Kate... 

So Unsuitable Is Kate Middleton To Be Queen It Makes Sense To Abolish The Monarchy

April 28, 2011

So Unsuitable Is Kate Middleton To Be Queen It Makes Sense To Abolish The Monarchy

Adam Lovejoy writes from London: You know what I think, with only hours left till the so-called ‘royal wedding’? I think Kate Middleton is so unsuitable for the role of the future queen that it probably makes sense to abolish the monarchy just to keep her out. Yes, I know, it sounds drastic, but there is no way I’m going to buy that stupid notion that even though Katie is plain and simple and comes from a bad stock, she could still turn out to be a great wife to the future king. Not in my book she will. I’m sceptical about people, who are totally unfit to fill certain roles in the public eye, and get away with it. I was against Tony Blair becoming Prime Minister because I could see that he was not fit for it. Pathological liar, deep inner insecurities, loved money to death and... 

Will Gazprom Cut Off Gas Supplies To Germany Following FC Schalke’s Defeat?

April 28, 2011

Will Gazprom Cut Off Gas Supplies To Germany Following FC Schalke’s Defeat?

Alex Nekrassov writes from London: I’m wondering, just wondering whether Gazprom, Russia’s energy giant that sponsors FC Shalke in the Bundesliga, is not thinking of cutting off gas supplies to Germany for a while, following the club’s 0-2 defeat at home to Manchester United in the first leg of the European Champions League semi-final. Gazprom has been known to get upset over even lesser things and switching off gas supplies to other nations – in the winter, of all times. Would it be too much to assume that the top bosses at Gazprom have already decided that it would be only proper to remind Schalke who is the boss by stopping gas flowing to the North Rhine-Westphalia region of Germany where the club comes from before the away game in Manchester next week. In fact, people, who know... 

It’s Official: David Cameron Is Feeling The Pressure Of High Office

April 28, 2011

It’s Official: David Cameron Is Feeling The Pressure Of High Office

Thomas Mathew writes from London: Well, it’s official. Prime Minister David Cameron is obviously struggling to cope with the pressures of his job, starting to show clear signs of political fatigue. During Prime Minister Questions in the Commons on Wednesday, half way through it, to be exact, Mr Cameron had suddenly started doing an impression of veteran film maker Michael Winner’s phrase from his car insurance TV ad, telling Labour’s Treasury Minister Angela Eagle several times in a row: ‘Calm down, dear.’ Ms Eagle was boisterously heckling Mr Cameron for mentioning the former Labour MP, Dr Hoard Stoate, as losing his seat to the Tories in the last election, when in reality he had actually stood down before it. The first couple of times when their leader said ‘Calm down, dear’... 

UK GDP Figures: Chancellor Osborne Rejoices On His Own

April 27, 2011

UK GDP Figures: Chancellor Osborne Rejoices On His Own

R.F.Wilson writes from London: Taking the piss comes naturally to Chancellor George Osborne, who has been rejoicing this morning at the news that the British economy has shown some signs of life and is not dead as was widely thought before. Mr Osborne, who is the youngest and the most inexperienced Chancellor Britain has ever had, spent most of his years toiling as a researcher, irrelevant advisor here and there and speech writer for William Hague during his inglorious leadership of the Conservative party that ended in a meltdown in the general election of 2001. He then acted as mock Tony Blair in the days of Michael Howard as Tory leader, to train the latter for Prime Ministers Questions in the House of Commons. The only reason why Mr Osborne was appointed Shadow Chancellor was because he... 

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