On Newspapers, Political Correctness And Hangovers

August 4, 2011

Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: How come newspapers publish so much rubbish? Most of them inform about events and tell you who said what and when, but they very rarely offer any decent analysis or comment. In fact, most of the time they come up with absolutely preposterous explanations and give the stupidest of reasons for some of the things that have taken place.

I often glance through newspapers and I find that many of the articles in them are written by people who have no idea what they’re talking about. But the worst thing of all is that there are readers out there who actually treat all this rubbish as if it were some serious reporting. Because they seem to think that anyone who writes in newspapers ‘knows things’.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not the case at all. In fact, most of these hacks know very little about the real world. They sit in their offices and read what other people have written, or watch the box and then come up with idiotic articles on the basis of some documentaries or TV news bulletins.

And it often happens that hacks, who boast of having ‘political connections’ and who pretend to know what is happening behind the scenes, are actually as uninformed about events as the general public is. At worst they report known facts and quote some barely credible ‘sources’ and at best they are being fed rubbish by some government spin doctors who’d never reveal any of the secrets that may actually damage their masters.

That is why most of the so-called ‘leaks’ that you hear so much about in the press result in absolutely nothing. Leaks have very rarely to do anything with revelations made for the benefit of the public. They are mostly about disinformation, internal politics, spin and battle for power. Like those leaks that WikiLeaks has been revealing.

That’s how governments across the world have been operating for ages, misleading people through the media. Because most folks out there actually believe what they read in newspapers and watch on TV and hear on the radio. Clever, intelligent people, who are quite sensible in everyday life, become unbelievably naive and stupid when they consume their daily dose of news.

So that you know, journalists are generally divided into three major categories. First of all, there are hacks who are totally uninformed. They simply report about events and either state the blindingly obvious or come up with the most ridiculous explanations. Secondly, there are hacks who are sucking up to big vested interests and report what they are told – no questions asked. And, thirdly, there are ‘big names in journalism’, who know a thing or two but are not that keen on sharing them with the rest of the world. They occasionally give hints that people in the know pick up, but they very rarely call a spade a spade.

All the three categories of hacks toe the party line. And what would the name of this party be, you may wonder. It’s called the Party of Political Correctness and it’s probably the most powerful party in the history of mankind. It’s been around for a while and it’s more powerful than, say, the former Communist Party of the Soviet Union has ever been. The Soviet communists had their limitations – they couldn’t spread their ideology all over the world, and even people living inside the Soviet Union were resisting it, eventually bringing it down.

But with PPC it’s different. It’s unfluence is everywhere and it controls the media with an iron hand. One wrong move and you’re out. It’s like walking on a minefield.

So what I’m saying here is that the press nowadays has become overrun by political correctness and has to drag itself out of this horrible swamp. But for that to happen you, the readers, must also change and try to distinguish between real news and comment and something that has nothing to do with news and comment and is mostly generated by ignorance, flattery and fear of upsetting others.

And while I’m on the subject of the press it would be sensible to raise another issue that is close to many of the people who work in it: hangovers.

So much nonsense has been written about battling hangovers. The advice has been diverse: from eating a lot the next morning to having a hair-of-a-dog cocktail and taking vitamins and drinking olive oil. And taking aspirins, and having sex, and starting to drink all over again. That last method, by the way, is called alcoholism.

We, Russians, know a lot about hangovers. We are practically born with a hangover and we know that there are only two methods that work against hangovers: one, you don’t drink at all. Works all the time, trust me. Two: If you are desperate to get drunk, then you should only drink top quality booze. Top quality alcohol very rarely produces hangovers. You really have to consume a lot – and I mean a lot – to develop one in the morning. So if you want to avoid a hangover during this festive season, treat yourself to some top quality stuff. Or, even better, have a good time and lay off the booze completely.

– End –

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Tags: hangovers, Newspapers, websites