Fears Grow Amanda Knox Might Find It Hard To Meet A Good Man

October 10, 2011

Dan Majestic writes from Seattle: Let anyone who doubts Amanda Knox’s innocence ask themselves this: could they imagine her taking part in a gruesome group sex session, on a family holiday like Halloween, high on dope and alcohol, using all sorts of objects and taking part in the rape and killing of British student Meredith Ketcher? And if your answer to this is ‘yes’, then you must know something we all don’t. But whatever the truth is, fears ar now growing among Amanda’s friends and supporters that she faces a very uncertain future when it comes to finding a good man who would be able to fulfill her sexual fantasies.

Yes, the prospect of spending most of her time with her favourite pink dildo that she carried around with her in her handbag for years, purely as a lucky charm as her defence pointed out in court, is hanging over Amanda. Very few if any of the studs out there would risk taking on a chick with that sort of attitude – I mean who on earth uses pink dildos nowadays, apart from the Sarkozies – even though she was found innocent of any wrong doing. Plus, it’s her eyes, you see, that seem to imply that she actually did it. Even though she says she didn’t and the Italian jury agreed with her.

Already it has been confirmed that Knox’s former boyfriend, Rafaello Selicito, who was convicted with her and freed on appeal, would not be visiting her in America. And who can blame him when a two-week affair resulted in a four year prison stint for him.

The only consolation for Amanda is that she can now make a fortune on giving interviews and writing books and even launching her own line of cosmetics or sex toys. We are talking millions here, potentially, and if at some point all that money wouldn’t buy her love, then it would be very strange indeed. Because despite the song Money Can’t Buy You Love by the talented Beatles and many other similar assertions, love, or at least the intimate part of it, can be actually purchased for money on a regular basis.

Meanwhile, Amanda might think of going into therapy with people, who were formerly found guilty of murder but then were found innocent on appeal, and plan her future career alongside like minded men and women. It would help her to learn how to give a moving interview about her plight, but without sounding corny or over triumphant, showing that she has learnt a valuable lesson from her ordeal such as: if you get in trouble with the law, it’s best to hire the most expensive PR people and let them do the talking.

For all of you out there, who still can’t understand how it could have happened that Amanda walked free, we can reveal that the judges and the jury were all bribed and gave the no guilty verdict. Only joking of course. In reality the defence had proven that it was a case of suicide that Meredith committed but the bungling Italian police mistook for a murder.

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