Celebs? Their Sole Purpose Is To Plug Stuff

January 2, 2012

Ted Obvious writes from Rome: All you mugs, who follow the sad pathetic lives of all kinds of celebs, should get one thing straight: their sole purpose is to plug stuff. There’s nothing else to them, nothing at all. That’s why they never say anything that makes any sense or do anything that is worthwhile. Their only purpose is making sure that their fans buy some useless junk that they are paid to promote – either directly or indirectly.

The whole concept of celebrities is one big marketing ploy. Sad non-entities are plucked from obscurity and moulded into ‘idols’ for the masses of consumers to worship, following their every word, copying what they wear and what they eat and what they drive and what they do. That last one is the most dangerous bit of all because in order to keep their public profile high and not having any brains to do anything outstanding, celebs assume an image of hell-raisers who supposedly drink all the time and take dope and sleep around.

I say ‘supposedly’ because a lot of them pretend that they do all that – to achieve the much sought ‘notoriety’ that helps them to stay in the spotlight and get talked about. (I bet around 90 per cent of celebs are faking it, otherwise we would have had them dying like flies of alcoholism and drug overdoses.) And thousands of mugs out there, who actually believe every stupid word that is said or written about celebs, copy their idols, becoming hooked on booze and drugs and casual sex, not even suspecting that they are being taken for a ride by the publicity machine that goes out of its way to turn grey non-entities into celebs – in the hope that they would get an advertising deal and plug some junk.

Actors and pop stars are the worst because they have a massive access to large numbers of people, simply due to the nature of what they. They are usually rubbish at acting and singing, but that doesn’t matter as there would always be people out there who’d love them to death simply because they are in the public eye. It’s the worshipping bit that is important to them, the sense of belonging to a group of like-minded people, who share their fascination with some unremarkable actor or actress or pop star or model or whoever else it is that they choose to idolise. And the moment these idols start plugging some products, their army of fans considers it a must to buy them – even if they don’t need or even like them.

Is it sad or what? You bet it’s sad. It just proves that the vast majority of people out there have no life and are prepared to waste their time on worshiping boring unremarkable individuals, who find themselves in the spotlight simply because their mugs appear on the big or small screen or they manage to hold a tune for a few seconds in a row or run a bit faster than the rest. Most of these people have absolutely nothing to show for their celebrity status apart from being celebrities.

I personally blame the hacks for creating countless celebs, just because they are too lazy to go out in search of stories and find it much easier to repeat the gossip they pick up at their office or in their local bar. Celebrity gossip has nothing to do with proper journalism. In fact, it’s not even journalism. It’s a waste of column inches by people, who should have been in catering or retail or some other more challenging job. Half if not more of all hacks should be sacked for being unprofessional and lazy, with the rest told in no uncertain terms that if they don’t go out in search of stories, they might as well take a walk.

Celebrity worship is an addiction of sorts, a form of paganism. It’s basically a pretext for having no aspiration in life – none at all. You might as well start idolising complete strangers who you bump into on the street, imaging the exciting lives that they lead. It’s just pathetic. It’s a bit like dying before you actually die.

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