R.F.Wilson writes from London: Let’s grab the bull by the horns, as they say in Spain after they’ve had a few, and tell it like it is: eating on the go is disgusting. You might just as well urinate in front of others and think that it’s no big deal.

I see more and more people these days, women more often than men, who eat on public transport or generally out and about with the sort of look that implies that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. And I don’t just mean crisps and chocolates and candies, oh no. These are sandwiches and salads and burgers and chips and smelly kebabs. Yes, food on go has become a serious obsession, with hungry plebs tucking into it in front of others without a care in the world. As in, f..k everyone, I’m feeling peckish and I ain’t gonna wait till I get home or to some other place where people, you know, eat.

Women look particularly stupid when they chew on the go, because you don’t really expect them to be so inconsiderate to others. It’s a bit like breaking wind, if you know what I mean. You don’t really expect chicks to do it in public, unlike some men who see no problem with it. But as thing stand now, chicks stand accused of driving this bad habit of gulping all sorts of foodstuffs on the go.

I suppose it started with supermarkets and junk food chains basically promoting food on the go, encouraging people to eat at every given opportunity. The packaging itself is designed in such a way that you are tempted to start chewing the moment you walk out. And if anything makes people look like savages and wild animals, eating on the go would be it. But because fast food, and I mean food on the go, has become big business, no one really has a go at this savagery. Just as no one ever says anything about people who walk around with bottles of mineral water, sucking from them at every given opportunity, as if they can’t survive without water for more than fifteen minutes.

It’s usually the small things that make people look like idiots that develop into bigger things. You start with chewing gum, sucking liquids out of plastic bottles and cans and then you move to eating on the go and gradually the food you consume becomes more complex, if you know what I mean, rich in disgusting aroma and all those preservatives. And then it can go further, with people getting intimate with each other in public places, shoving their tongues down each other throats or screaming into their mobiles or swearing at the top of their voices. (I notice that people who swear loudly are usually deeply insecure and think that they look cool if they throw F-words at everyone.) And then comes the moment when some people start walking around practically naked and relieving themselves in public and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. And to think that it all might have started with having a chocolate or a pack of crisps on the go.

You have been warned.

–End–

1 Comment

1. SarahLund says:

   August 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

   So imagine you work in a terrible boring office or somewhere. They only give you a thirty minute lunch break. You can’t go home to eat, as you’d never make it back on time. Unless you have a special super power we should know about. You also don’t wanna eat in the damn workplace, as you’re sick of seeing the place regardless. Why do you think cafe’s and restaurants were made? If you need a lot of time to think about my question, then goodness.