Reminding Everyone That The Concept Of Superheroes Is A Satanic One

Dan Majestic writes from Hollywood: As another superhero blockbuster, The Avengers, breaks all box office records in America grossing $200 million in its first weekend of release it’s probably a good time to remind everyone that the very concept of superheroes is a Satanic one. Yes, superheroes come directly from the conveyor belt of the Man from Downstairs, or Woman, as some feminists insist.

Let me explain. The whole nature of superpowers, even if they are presented as a force for good, can only be evil in its origin. Why? Because superpowers would never be given to people by the forces of good. The Almighty would never dream of putting people through a test that they would never be able to pass. It’s the same with obscene wealth. God would never give huge amounts of money to good, decent people because they would simply be unable to resist all the nasty temptations that come with vast personal riches. The obscenely rich, I’m afraid, are the servants of the Man from Downstairs. Or Woman, if you’re a feminist. That is why they do what they do and, as the eternal truth states, have as much chance of entering God’s Kingdom as a camel passing through the eye of a needle.

But if you don’t believe me, and I bet there a lot of you out there, fans of the supernatural and lovers of films about superheroes, just cast a glance at the superheroes themselves. They all look Satanic, with their weird costumes and total lack of understanding how to use their remarkable powers that they usually acquire under very sinister circumstances. Not to mention that every time superheroes try to save the world they cause enormous damage to it along the way.

And another thing about superheroes: practically all of them are usually sad, pathetic individuals in their daily lives and acquire their superpowers without making any effort, as obscene fortunes are made. And that is classical Satanism, if the word ‘classical’ can be used in this context. The idea behind it is that you don’t really need to do anything to succeed. You just sort of hope to be in the right place at the right time, and, with luck, sell your soul to the highest bidder at a drop of a hat. And then –bam! You’re a superhero, or a billionaire.

But there’s another sinister side to it all. Normal people in superhero epics are always portrayed as losers, as extras in the great adventures of the freaks in weird costumes with small penises that don’t even show through their tights. (Superheroes wear tights a lot you know.) That is why you see so many of the ‘ordinaries’ getting killed or maimed or buried under the rubble of buildings that the superheroes demolish in their battles with some other freaks dressed in weird costumes.

And if you still don’t believe me then tell me this: how can a superhero who calls himself Batman be a good guy? Or Spiderman, or Phantom, or Shadow? And how can the sick and twisted mutants from the X-Men franchise, who look like they’ve just come out of hell itself, be the good guys?

Think about it when you go to see another superhero epic.

–End–

2 Comments

1. Stirring Trouble International says:

   May 10, 2012 at 7:49 am

   Spiderman had a way with spinning a yarn, Thor has a elder thulhark inscription on his yarrow stick and the Avengers were British were they not? The Avengers had an episode, where they went to The Hell Fire Club downstairs in a grotto in the midlands. I think the superstars like super-heroes and people who work out like to think of these people too. There is also something exclusive about super heroes hanging out with super heroes. For Super heroes it is not about money its about justice, but with justice comes a trail of chaos and damage to buildings and cities. Looking forward to the next web slinger movie, and the Avengers film. Good post, well done Dan your right about those super heroes being nerds in real life. Perhaps this is the popularity thing online, everyone now wants to be an Internet nerd, even people like 50 Cents.
2. Johar Malik says:

   August 16, 2012 at 11:30 pm

   Well, someone’s a fan of Fredric Werthingham.

   Your first point “The Almighty would never dream of putting people through a test that they would never be able to pass.” Now, I’m no Christian (So please forgive me for any religious inaccuracies) but I’ve been brought up to believe that everything in life is a moral test from God, and how you complete that test defines your chances of getting into Heaven, and these heroes, these ‘Satanic Icons’ as you may put it, obviously will struggle with these tests because at their core, they’re human, and bound to make mistakes.

   Your second point: “They all look Satanic, with their weird costumes and total lack of understanding how to use their remarkable powers that they usually acquire under very sinister circumstances.” The first superheroes from the ‘Golden Age’ of comics, got their costume inspirations from Circus Strongmen and the Heroes of pulp magazines. Hardly any Satanic influences there. Although there are maybe a few superheroes whom get their powers and costumes from an unholy source, that does not account for the billions of other supes’ whom get their costumes from their (or, in real life terms, the writers/artists/editors) imaginations. In terms of their powers? Superman got his for simply being on Earth, as his Kryptonian biology is powered by our yellow sun and weak gravity. Batman doesn’t have any powers, but he did gain his super-athlicity, high-intelligence and strong-will by TRAINING HARD for it. The Silver-Age Flash, Barry Allen, acquired his powers by chance, as did most of the MARVEL heroes that arrived in the 60′s. Despite the fact that they had no real moral obligation to save and protect random innocents they decided to do so because its the right thing to do. And as for lack of understanding, although most heroes had no clear view of what or how to use their new found powers in the beginning, they have come to learn and understand them in good time to protect he innocents.

   Your third point: “And another thing about superheroes: practically all of them are usually sad, pathetic individuals in their daily lives and acquire their superpowers without making any effort, similarly to how obscene fortunes are made.” Superman’s alter-ego, Clark Kent, is a mild-mannered news reporter. Spider-man’s a scientist during his ‘day-job’. The Flash is a forensic scientist. Batman is a billionaire philanthropist whom aids the needy and poor in Gotham City during the day. Must I go on? And, like I said before, most superheroes have gotten their powers by mistake, so really in was their choice whether or not to use their powers for the sake of man-kind or for themselves. The real idea behind this is that if something of extraordinary value or power is given to you by no fault of your own, the right thing to do is use it for good.

   Third Point: ” Normal people in superhero epics are always portrayed as losers, as extras in the great adventures of the freaks in weird costumes with small penises that don’t even show through their tights. ” I would hardly call Lois Lane, the hard-nosed reporter for truth of the Daily Planet, a loser. The same goes for Commissioner Gordon of the GCPD, the cop whom tries to stop corruption from inside the police-force, a loser. As for the extras part, aren’t we ALL extras in the conflicts of the world? We didn’t have anything to do with 9/11, and yet our sons, daughters, mothers and fathers are getting killed by extremists twisting a peaceful religion. And as for the third remark…..Really? Small penises? Why would you even bring that up?

   Fourth:”How can a superhero who calls himself Batman be a good guy? Or Spider man, or Phantom, or Shadow? And how can the sick and twisted mutants from the X-Men franchise, who look like they’ve just come out of hell itself, be the good guys?” Like I said before, they’re good guys because they had a choice of using their abilities for good or for bad, and they all chose good. As for their appearances, they chose their costumes to scare criminals and super-villains, and it actually works. As for the X-Men….Are you really gonna call them out based on appearances? Ever heard of ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’? They X-Men basically represent every persecuted minority out there. If you are Black, Jewish, Muslim, Gay, or just a teenager in general, you could relate to the X-Men because they are persecuted as mutants simply for being mutants. Every minority feels this way when its their turn to be persecuted by the ‘White-Man’.

   I meant no disrespect, but please, re-evaluate your article based on the points I just gave you. For further analysis, try to get SuperGods, by Grant Morrison, and The Seven Spiritual Laws of Superheroes, by Deepak Chopra. Once again, I meant no disrespect, and I apologize if I insulted you in any way.

   Sincerely, Your friendly-neighborhood Comic-Book enthusiast.