Alexander Anderson writes from London: Did you watch Gordon Brown give evidence at the Leveson Inquiry? Don’t blame yourself if you didn’t. Still, he did his best to come across as passionate, fluent, self-righteous while managing to get it all wrong most of the time.
Mr Brown’s weakest point is that just as during his years in government he is still unable to accept that he makes mistakes. A lot of mistakes actually. When he was Chancellor of the Exchequer he vowed to end boom and bust and truly believed he could bend economic laws to suit his agendas. His ego was so big it’s a surprise he has not fallen over it. His father was a Church of Scotland minister who had instilled in him the belief that he had been placed on Earth to make it a better place. No harm in that, providing he took into consideration what others actually wanted. His problem is that he thinks he knows what is best for them before they even open their mouths.
Mr Brown was always passionate about Africa. He is what Karl Marx called a ‘cultural imperialist’. In essence, this just means that Brown has decided that he knows what’s best for the people of Africa. His ideas are derived from his own cultural background. His hero was Jimmy Maxton, a firebrand Marxist politician. He even wrote a biography of him and used him in his PhD thesis at university. So Brown is soaked to the skin in Marxist thinking. Not to be too unkind to him, he is a classic case of a white man telling black Africans how to live their lives.
But now Mr Brown is desperately looking for a new job. No one will give him one in England or Scotland, so he has to look elsewhere. He would love to be head of the International Monetary Fund or the World Bank, thinking that he could do a much better job there than the current lot. Heaven help us all if he takes control of either, considering what he did to Britain.
That is why I have a few suggestions for Mr Brown as regards his possible employment. He could become President Bashar al Assad’s economic guru. He would be brilliant arguing the case that the Syrian regime is unable to deliver economic growth because of outside interference. Mr Brown would tell the Syrian dictator that he should avoid boom and bust at all costs, concentrating on keeping the interest rates low to let consumers push the economy. And obviously the Iron Chancellor of Syria, as he would like to be called, would be friendly with the local banks, even though there are practically none in Syria.
Or Mr Brown could move to Tehran. Iran has a very poor credit rating at the moment and if anyone could try to change that it must be Gordon ‘no more boom and bust’ Brown. Would he be able to find common ground with the mad mullahs? Probably, as they share a view that governments should interfere in economic matters and treat any private enterprise with great suspicion. Who knows, Mr Brown might even convince the mullahs that Karl Marx’s theory of the triumph of a socialist planned economy over the free market is the way to go for Iran. Not to mention that the mullahs would be very impressed with their economic adviser’s achievement of bankrupting the infidel Britain to a crisp in matter of months.
North Korea, Cuba and Belarus could be other potential places of destination for Brown where his rich experience in turning boom into bust could be very valuable. Anything really, as long he is kept away from any positions where he can cause real damage, as he did when he was Britain’s Chancellor and PM.