R.F.Wilson writes from London: In case you’re one of the six million people, who are planning to get away from London during the Olympic Games, think again. Stirring Trouble has been told on good authority by people, who say they are informed about the goings on in the organisational committee of the Games, that huge stars like Kate Moss, Jessie J and, wait for it, Russell Brand – yes, you’ve heard me right, that great performer and comedian Brand – will be showing up in one ceremony or another during the Games. And if that is not enough then how about Annie Lennox, Ray Davis, the Pet Shop Boys, Madness and the Who tickling your interest, all in their prime, all adored by millions of fans even though some of them don’t really know who they are.
And there’s more talent, if you are still not convinced: how about Elbow, One Direction and Fatboy Slim? With such a turnout of the best of the best of British talent it would be madness for some hotheads to leave London and go to places like the Canaries, Spain or Italy where there is nothing much to do really but get sunburn.
And although it’s not yet clear whether the Queen will attend the opening and closing ceremonies of the Olympic Games, one thing is dead certain: the head of the International Olympic Committee Jacques Rogge will most definitely attend both events. And if you think about it, what’s some Queen compared to Jacques, who is still looking good and is adored by millions of athletes and fans of obscure sports.
In case you’re into serious glamour and clashing colours then there’s a treat for you as well: stunning Kate Moss and other supermodels like Naomi Campbell, Lily Cole and, wait for it, the stunning Georgia May Jagger who looks so much like her father, will be walking down the catwalk at the opening ceremony, celebrating the huge strides that British fashion makes. Yes, the whole world would see what the British fashion designers can come up with when they are put their minds to it.
Meanwhile, on a lighter note, Londoners are getting used to the idea of avoiding the new Olympic lanes, as they called, that have been painted all across the capital, to allow important guests of the Olympics and some competitors to speed through the city to their respective destinations. And even though the lanes are a bit of a pain in the arse and can cause major problems for traffic flows at places, most people understand that they are important for the smooth running of the Games. What’s a large fine and three points on the driving licence, when caught a second time, if you feel that it’s all part of the great big extravaganza called the London Olympic Games.
By the way, the Association of Taxpayers has already issued a statement saying that whatever the Games cost, it would still be worth it. The spokesman for the association told Stirring Trouble that the £20 odd billion that would be spent on the Games would be money well spent, if only for the memories that could be treasured by several generations to come.
For fans of great food the prospects of having McDonalds as the main caterer of the Olympic Games opens up unimaginable possibilities of sampling some of the finest junk food, contained in some fancy packaging with Olympic logos.
And as for the cuddly one-eyed mascots of the Games, well, what kid or adult would not want to own and cherish one for life. Are you going to tell me that you can just walk past these great examples of British design without buying one for a mere fifty quid? What are you, nuts or something?
All in all it’s going to be a great celebration of sport and more sport. So people, who are planning to escape, would regret it forever.