Dan Majestic writes from Washington: That stunt that Barack and Michelle Obama pulled off recently, at a basketball game at the Verizon Centre, getting themselves splashed across the so-called ‘kiss cam’ that has been created for attention grabbing junkies, proves that the US President is seriously worried about his prospects at the elections in November.
Difficult to figure really what the thinking was behind that very public show of affection. But we may try to guess how the brainstorming session at the White House went, with Mr Obama getting his best people together in the Oval Office.
President Obama: People, we need to come up with some new ideas to get the folks out there talking about their President. I’m running neck and neck with you know who in the opinion polls and he’s raising money faster than I do. Shoot!
Voice: How about a new punchy slogan, Sir: Yes, we still can. Can.
President: Doesn’t sound right to me. Sounds like the old slogan.
Voice: Why don’t you and Mrs Obama adopt a kid?
President: Tell me more.
Voice: Why don’t you adopt a kid, a white kid.
President: A white kid? But how would it go down with the brothers? No, it’s too radical. We need something simple and sweet.
Voice: Let’s spread the word, Sir, that you and the First Lady are, you know, trying for a baby.
President: Call me naïve, but isn’t Michelle a bit too old for that? She’ll be hitting 50 in a couple of years’ time. Besides, a baby didn’t do much good to Nicolas Sarkozy and look at David cameron. He had a baby in office and he’s now looking at a meltdown at the polls.
Voice: How about rediscovering God? We need to get the Bible Belt on board. So why not start sounding religious and popping down to church from time to time?
President: Won’t work with those drones flying into Pakistan daily on my orders and that gay marriage thing that I endorsed. Although it’s worth a try when we get closer to the election day. No, I need something simple, something that people would like and appreciate.
Voice: How about passionately kissing the First Lady in public? We will find a good location for you where you’ll be seen by as many people as possible and you can choose a good moment and go for her kisser.
President: Hmm, that might be a good idea. Tell me more.
Voice: Well, say we send you both to a basketball game or any other game and you will hug Mrs Obama, to get the crowd interested. And then on our signal you’ll kiss her passionately on the lips. Five seconds would be enough. And we’ll see to it that it goes viral on the web.
President: I like the sound of that. Spontaneous sign of affection. Folks would like that. When do we start the rehearsals. I’d rather do it with some other woman first. To get everything right.
Voice: We start at once, Sir. It might take some time before you perfect it.