Ben Delicious writes from London: Heard any good jokes about the 2012 London Olympics? I bet you haven’t because there are none. Well, there are some but they aren’t funny. Bland, I would say, without any edge to them, tending to be closer to what dreary observational humour is to comedy as syphilis is to a loving relationship.
But why, you may wonder, having suddenly realised that the London Olympics and Olympic Games generally are never targeted by the comedy crowd, is that so? Well, it’s because Olympics, my dear friends, are a taboo subject for any self-respecting, politically correct and left leaning comedian, of whom there are so many these days. In fact, if you look closer, you will find that these PC lefties dominate the comedy scene and decide what’s funny and what’s not.
Yes, the Olympics Games that had been banished from the face of this Earth for more than 1500 years for basically being what they are – money-wasting exercises that breed corruption, dope taking and result rigging and are used by politicians to plug themselves – have been embraced by the liberal left with gusto, simply because these Games are an irrelevance and serve as a distraction from the important things. And the left, so that you know, love irrelevance to bits. So what could be better for them than to see several hundred million people – there aren’t billions following the Olympics, make no mistake about it – wasting their time watching athletes of obscure sports competing with each other.
Besides, the Olympics are a great occasion for the fans of diversity and multiculturalism to bang on about how wonderful it is to see all races and nationalities competing on equal terms with each other, showing their brotherly and sisterly love and sharing the Olympic ideals, whatever they mean these days. No one seems to notice that lots of these guys and girls look as if they’ve spent years sucking on steroids, building up the sort of body muscle that no exercise or diet can help develop.
This doping thing in Olympics should have been a reason to slaughter them by comedians, if not for that fascination with the concept itself. Imagine how many jokes could have been told about the side effects of dope on athletes and on their physical appearances. But no, not a peep, not a whisper is heard from the stand-up lot. It’s as if they can’t see the irony of the situation when London is occupied by thousands of X Men and X Women and everyone pretends that these are just ordinary people who train a lot and eat healthy foods.
Having a pop at the advertisers, who use the Olympics to shove messages about their products down the throats of crowds of spectators, is a no-no for comedians as most of them dream of getting into an ad campaign themselves. These days these lefties would not dare touch big business, in the hope of getting that call from their agent who would say: ‘Yep, that condom ad you were dreaming of, it’s yours, Jack.’
Let’s face it, now that the dust has settled that opening ceremony concocted by Danny Boyle was a great reason in itself to have a pop at the Games’ political correctness. Come on, this website showed the way and had a great piece about it, ridiculing the choice of entertainers who took part in it. Boyle is not really some genius. He wouldn’t have been offered to direct the whole thing if he were not PC enough.
The really funny bit about the London Olympics is the way everyone is suddenly keen on promoting Britishness and Britain as one big happy family, supporting its great athletes. Strange that, considering that ‘patriotism’ is a term that upsets most of the people who dictate what’s good or bad for Britain these days. The thing about it is that it’s not really about patriotism because supporting some swimmers or runners or discus throwers has got really nothing to do with being British. It’s a waste of time and emotion really, considering the state of things in the nation and the attack on true British values.
Anyway, don’t expect to hear any good jokes about these Olympics. It’s that sort of subject that the comedy lot doesn’t touch. Which is a shame really because it needs a good kicking up its money-wasting arse.