Freddie Matthews writes from London: This week in the British music calendar is also the easiest week of the year to achieve the UK No.1 single position. So let’s roll up the al-so-ran acts which haven’t had any success for a while then. And yes, that includes 2012 X-Factor winners, the all female group Little Mix and British pop funsters Scouting For Girls.
Now, the latter I actually don’t mind as they are more than aware that their music is laughable but Little Mix are a complete waste of space. Their only success to date being the X-Factor UK No.1 with a cover that they murdered off the beautifully written and performed, Cannonball, originally by Damien Rice. Eight months on from that tiny success, Little Mix release Wings in what is the weakest week of the year single sales wise. So they might actually get a decent position in the charts as a result, but please do not give them any ideas of grandeur.
It was a return to form of epic proportions when Muse performed the Official London Olympic 2012 song Survive. Not only was it played when every Olympian entered an event but Muse also performed it at the closing Ceremony without the rumoured Elton John? He’d been advertised to duet with Muse but he must have had a cow licking his head instead or something. For the British band it couldn’t have been better publicity for the brand new 7th album release ‘The 2nd Law’ out on October 1 and the new single ‘Madness’, which is released on the same date. For Elton it would have been a few more million £££ in the bank from his back catalogue in sales alone. Madness gets a cool 7.9 out of 10.
We mentioned Tulisa last week and now this week her former band mate Fazer, from the 100 million You Tube watched UK band N-Dubz, has gone solo. With his debut solo single, Killer, the stupidly named Fazer delivers a fast paced piece of urban electro, with a pulsating baseline. Yes, more press release PR speak there, don’t you just hate it? So if you understand what that really means then your grasp of the music genre is better than most people’s, otherwise why would they write that drivel?
Will it succeed? It’s a tough one to predict, maybe, so 6.4 at best!
Now, who remembers Joss Stone’s The Soul Sessions album? You should, it sold over 5 million copies worldwide back in 2003-4. She’s returned with the originally titled The Soul Sessions Volume 2. Inspired, eh? How on earth did she come up with that, or maybe it was a PR type at the record company. Are you starting to realise that I haven’t much time or respect for them? ‘Pillow Talk’ is the new song and if you like to wash your dishes in tepid warm water or always forget about your piping hot coffee only to drink it when it’s cold, then this is the song for you!
A big fat 4.9 is more than generous enough, I think!
And finally a man who thinks that big girls are, or at least were, beautiful: Mika is back with his new single Celebrate. He certainly has been celebrating with sales success at over 8 million records….. but who on earth buys this crap? My advice in 2012 is, please don’t help Mika celebrate for one single second longer. This is absolute musical tosh! 2.4. But I’m sure his mother still loves him.