Don’t Like Topless Pics, Kate? Then Keep Your Kit On Love. You’re A Celeb And Should Know The Name Of The Game
Felicity Bushmill writes from London: The French magazine Closer has published topless pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge. St James’ Palace say they are angry, disappointed and taking legal advice.
What a lot of royal crap. But it gets worse.
Downing Street has dutifully joined in saying that the couple are entitled to their privacy. What privacy? Have we ever heard such sanctimonious rubbish?
Prince William and his wife are celebrities. They play the celebrity game. They spend ages working out the best photo-ops for the media because they love the media. They love to be loved. They were made in the wonderland imagery of all royalty and the almost unbroken line of British royals since Athelstan and Edgar in the tenth century.
They have friends in the media, especially television. They pose this way and that. They wear what they look best in. Kate has a huge dress allowance. She’s on a Far East and Pacific tour at the moment and has taken her personal crimper with her. They know exactly where the cameras are and the best angles to make them look good. They have even perfected a silly girlie wave instead of the usual royal hand jerk for what they see as the adoring crowds.
They have Made In Hollywood stamped all over their perfect images. And we all love it. The latest guess is that in a couple of days, maybe weeks, they will announce that Kate is 14 weeks pregnant – as all the baby-doctors in Singapore were saying this week when the couple called in at the start of the Jubilee tour. When that comes, they will giggle and flash perfect teeth for all to enjoy their good news and wish they could sell it all to Hello for a fat profit.
And they have the cheek to have an official announcement released from St James’ Palace including this: ‘The Duke and Duchess have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner.’
Their privacy was not invaded. Celebrities demand our complete attention and the privileged of British royalty long ago had to realise that the only privacy they would be allowed were the occasions when the public lost interest – and they would not like that. Grotesque and unjustifiable manner? More rubbish. The Duchess stripped off and a photographer snapped her from a public highway. That was not grotesque and it was perfectly justifiable. Again they play the celebrity game. Long Tom snappers are part of that game.
If they thought it was all private, then they should have done a security check of every bush, wall and tree. They’ve got plenty of money. Also, they know who they are and will always be followed by photographers. So if Kate is that sensitive, she should not have stripped off. Sad, but that’s the way to handle it.
There is of course the darker side of this. Prince William will always blame the photographers for the death of his mother. In that he is partly right. He also grew up seeing his mother in almost every pose known to a model and with an assortment of sordid captions. That is very sad for him and it’s understandable that he doesn’t want that intrusion for his wife. But the truth is harsh: Diana courted the media. She even went on TV and told of her affairs. Simply put: Diana knew she was a celeb and used it.
So maybe someone should tell the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge to stop bleating and give the royal arrogance a rest. Get some advice from Harry. It was just one of those things.