Lib Dems Choose Paddy Ashdown To Run 2015 Election Campaign. There’s Hope Now They’ll Be Gone By Then
Thomas Mathew writes from Brighton: It’s difficult to say really who is more stupid, the Liberal Democrats who have produced some of the most appalling drivel at their annual bash or the hacks who reported about all that loony left rubbish as if it made any sense. The proud British media seem to have forgotten that the Lib Dems are only suitable for ridicule and nothing else. It’s not really a proper political party and it got into government simply because David Cameron did not have the guts to accept defeat, stand down and let somebody else lead the Tories in a fresh general election that would have produced a majority Conservative government.
The funniest thing of all is that some hacks have actually concluded that the Lib Dems have had ‘a good conference’ and that Nick Clegg, their glorious leader, managed to rally his troops and avoid a challenge to his authority. This is the man who said in his speech while keeping a straight face that ‘only the Liberal Democrats could be trusted on the economy’. Not bad, considering the Lib Dems have never had an economic policy of their own and came up with some of the stupidest proposals imaginable at their latest gathering, including the idea of taxing the middle classes up to their eyeballs, as if this would not finish off the British economy for good.
The funniest part of Mr Clegg’s speech was devoted to convincing the party faithful that they should ignore the ‘vitriol and abuse’ and avoid the ‘alluring prospect’ of becoming a party of opposition. The Lib Dem leader has obviously got so used to all the perks of government that the mere idea that his troops might rebel against the hated Tories and move to the opposition benches in the House of Commons fills him with horror. He might as well not have bothered, though. The Lib Dems would sell themselves to anyone in order to be a party of government. I bet that even if by some miracle the BNP had won the general election and the Lib Dems had held the balance of power they would have joined the coalition. All in the name of saving the economy and the nation generally of course.
The great economic message was delivered by Vince Cable, the current Business Secretary in the coalition, whose claim to fame is limited to one comment he made in parliament in the days of Gordon Brown when he said that from a Joseph Stalin the Labour Chancellor turned into a Mr Bean. For some bizarre reason this silly comment turned Mr Cable into a celebrity and everyone started to recall that he said some pretty clever things on other subjects as well.
Mr Cable could not resist commenting on the so-called GateGate scandal involving Tory Chief whip Andrew Mitchell, who had a bit of a stand-off with the cops who guard 10 Downing Street with their lives, calling them ‘plebs’ when they refused to let him out on his bike through the main gates and told him to dismount and use the side one. Mr Cable proudly announced from the podium that he was a pleb himself, obviously forgetting that a pleb is a stupid individual who lacks manners and education and is proud of his ignorance. Or, to put it in academic terms, one whose inferior intelligence results in him coming over as a complete arsehole.
Mr Cable announced a plan to create a government bank that would give loans to small and medium businesses. The only problem is that it would take about 18 months to set it up, by which time there would be no small companies left at all in Britain considering that only last month 55 businesses went down every day, denied loans by the banks that refuse to share the hundreds of billions they received from the government under all sorts of schemes. It was clear that Mr Cable had no idea what to do about the economy but the delegates still cheered, probably recalling that joke of his about Joseph Stalin and Mr Bean. After that he didn’t really say anything of any interest.
It was announced at the conference that Paddy Ashdown would be running the Lib Dem election campaign in 2015. And that, ladies and gents, at least gives us all hope that the party would be no more after the next general election.