Dan Majestic writes from Hollywood: How is it, I would like to know, that crime in movies comes across as a cool thing? Yeah, sure, the bad guys often lose in the end, but they still look funkier and slicker than the good guys. And for the millions of easily impressionable idiots, who rush to watch any new crappy thriller, the message that is hammered into their tiny brains on a regular basis is this: crime is not really all that bad and the benefits are enormous. Beats having a nine to five job anytime.
The biggest lie that is peddled by Hollywood to the masses is that criminals lead a glamorous life, having hot chicks around them, driving fancy sports cars and living in luxury villas. All of this is especially appealing to the dimwits out there who dream of getting rich quickly without doing much – if anything. So what if I get busted and end up in the slammer, they reckon, seeing all that luxury on the screen acquired on proceeds of crime? At least I’ll get a chance to have loads of cash, wear bling-bling, live in my own villa, drive a Ferrari and shag all those chicks.
There are countless movies that make crime look glamorous. Bonnie And Clyde would probably be one of the first really big promotions for crime, with the cold-hearted bank robbers, who have no problem whacking people, shown as having a warm considerate side to them while looking drop dead glamorous most of the time. And even despite the fact that they are retards who can’t manage to engage in the most primitive of conversations they are still portrayed as slick and cool-looking even though they are a total waste of space.
And then there’s Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid, a classic of sorts. It’s a f..king hymn to crime, if you ask me. Two great looking guys having fun robbing trains and banks: now what could be bad about that, eh? In real life these sort of people are the lowest of lowlifes. But not on the big screen they ain’t. Charming witty rascals would be the worst you could say about Butch and the Kid. And when they get whacked in the end it sort of comes across as a big loss for the community.
The Godfather? Yep, now that was some promotion for the underworld. Sure, it’s got some nasty bloodletting scenes in it, but it still manages to come across as a ‘touching’ story of a criminal clan. Word has it that the New York mob was very grateful to Francis Ford Coppolla for the first Godfather and let him know about it. They liked the second film in the trilogy less, but still accepted that it made them look all powerful and even intelligent when both of these things they ain’t.
Ocean 11, 12 and 13 probably come tops in glamorising criminals, with a whole bunch of cute looking lovable lowlifes pulling off the heist of their lives. The old version with Frank and the boys was at least a comedy spoof but the new remakes were just showing how good it is to be a criminal.
What the Hollywood crime busters are missing is that most criminals are scum who lead an unexciting life, don’t trust anyone and get whacked a lot. All those villas and yachts and private jets exist only in movies. It’s the prison cells or a bullet in the back of the head from their competitors – or even some of their own lot- that the real life criminals end up with. Not to mention that the hot chicks they supposedly hang out with are mostly hookers and even the bling-bling is not made of real gold. –End–