Ted Obvious writes from Athens: Was it a good idea for German Chancellor Angela Merkel to pop down to Athens yesterday for a chat with Prime Minister Antonis Samaras and to bask in the limelight? Well, she obviously thought it was a great idea, considering how popular austerity is proving to be in Greece. (Yeah, yeah, this a satirical website so get used to reading some pretty crazy stuff here, OK?)
I can just imagine Frau Merkel, bored out of her wits, sitting at her official residence in Berlin, trying to think of something to do. And then her trusted advisers, seeing that their boss was, well, looking for some action, telling her that it would be a great idea to nip down to Greece, to share her wisdom with the locals and show off some of her latest designer wear. And the Chancellor then getting all excited about the prospect of seeing cheering crowds welcoming her and thanking Germany and the EU for all that lovely austerity that would make Greece great again – in about 1000 years, give or take a century or two.
Angela, you see, is convinced that most Greeks have long ago succumbed to her fiscal policies and are keen on seeing their living standards drop through the floor, for the sake of future generations and the stability of the EU. And why not, if it would allow the country to stay in the euro zone and feel part of something big and prosperous, even if it means not really sharing all that prosperity.
Anyway, off Angela went yesterday, looking stunningly beautiful, as always. And when around a hundred thousand demonstrators hit the streets of Athens, some of whom made an effort to break through police lines, she was informed on good authority that these people were actually trying to tell her, to her lovely face, how grateful they were for her help in sorting out the debt crisis in Greece. And the silly cow took it all seriously, going all emotional and weepy, especially as some demonstrators were wearing Nazi insignia that so reminded her of her good old days in East Germany when she was a big shot in the Young Communist League that was modelled on the Nazi youth movement.
Encouraged by the adoration of the Greek people, Frau Merkel told her host, PM Samaras, that she loved Greece so much that she was actually thinking of buying a property by the sea and spending weekends there. Mr Samaras gently hinted that it might not be such a great idea, considering that the Greek people’s love for Germany, and Frau Merkel in particular, was so overwhelming at times that it might be impossible to control it.
And from then on there was no stopping the German visitor. On and on she went, telling the Greeks that the tough times they were going through would eventually pay off and that the suffering was good for their souls anyway.
And who could have argued with words like that, especially when they were coming from a real hottie like Angela.