Ben Delicious reports from London: There’s way too much news around these days, way, way too much – and most of it is not even news.

Take the latest useless European Union summit, for example, that was supposed to decide how big the EU budget should be in the next seven years – despite the bloody union itself falling apart. Big, big news story, the EU budget, if you listen to all sorts of reporters, commentators, analysts and scribblers. Even though not one of the EU budgets of the past 18 years has been signed off by the auditors, which should be a good reason for hacks to grill politicians and Eurocrats about this outrage. But no, the EU demands more and more money to burn while politicians pretend to be doing their best to achieve an agreement on the matter with hacks reporting their every word as if it all makes any sense.

Blanket coverage of what politicians say or do generally has got nothing to do with news. Why should we listen to the endless drivel of boring hacks or read their reports on what some cabinet minister or an MP thinks and does when the vast majority of politicians act only in their own interests, lie at every given opportunity and fail miserably to deliver on their election promises or pretty much on everything else? Who cares what they do at their gatherings that produce nothing but hot air.

The media pays too much attention to politicians for obvious reasons: it’s the easiest way to generate news without actually providing any of it. It’s a cosy arrangement between lazy hacks and vain incompetent idiots populating the corridors of power. Ninety per cent of it is useless, absolutely useless, but the flow keeps on growing, with armies of scribblers and TV talking heads living off these parasites, coveting their every word and every move and every fart.  It resembles some giant sado-masochist exercise that irritates most people and enlightens absolutely no one.

Business news? You know what? To hell with it. We never learn anything specific or practical from business news. The reporters shower us with meaningless statistics that are of no use to anyone as most of them are rigged anyway and think that it’s all so important and cool. The so-called business analysis that hacks produce is always off the mark, and since all of them had missed the big crash of 2008 and the resulting economic meltdown and debt crisis in Europe they might just as well switch to entertainment or something and stop pestering us with all that garbage, including interviews with captains of industry who are all vain fools who got lucky once or twice and think they know things.

And then there is the celebrity news that has been overwhelming TV news channels and pages in newspapers and mags. This has got nothing to do with proper news reporting. This is dumbing down at its worst, or best, if you don’t think in clichés. Celebs do not deserve even a thousandth of the publicity they are getting from the media. Most of them are total nonentities. They have nothing of any interest to offer. Their sole purpose, so that you know, is to plug stuff – nothing else. And the hacks who cover them are not even hacks in the proper sense of the word. They are gossipers, who would not be able to cover a proper story even if they had a gun held to their head and told to do so or else.

Sport comes next in this line of non-news items. Sports news is for degenerates. It has no value as it contains no information that could be of use to anyone, apart from the pathetic sportsmen and women themselves who are mentioned in it and some of their brain-dead fans. Sports writers and commentators produce all that rubbish because they are not intelligent enough to report about anything else. Sports news is a page filler in a newspaper or something with which to fill airtime. It should be confined to special magazines and cable TV channels in prisons and mental institutions for people with very low IQs.

But the worst of them all when it comes to no news is the coverage of the rubbish that is shown on the box. This is the pits: the lowest of the lowest levels of so-called news reporting. This is laziness mixed with stupidity and total lack of desire to search for some worthwhile stories. This is sitting in front of the box or computer, chewing on some junk food and writing about what you see. And considering that the quality of television shows and programmes long ago went through the floor, you can imagine what comes from the pens of the people who comment on this trash.

Remember: dumbing down news and filling it with irrelevance is a form of censorship: a brutal form that should be made illegal and not covered up by all that talk of freedom of expression, free speech and other bull. It is time to pull the plug on this sort of reporting. Even watching porn is better. At least you might pick up helpful tips.

–End–

3 Comments

1. Claude Nougat says:

   November 25, 2012 at 5:01 pm

   Damn right! We’re all fed up with Non News!

   And Non Comments about Non News…

   And Breaking News that Break Nothing!

   But is a Golden Silence really Golden? …or just dumb?
2. pleasedontreadthis says:

   November 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

   Claude Nougat, having read the marxist PC guff you write on your blogsite, I think you should consider not writing anymore, not on here, the net , on the walls of the W.C., except if they ever start up Pravda again, you can write a column ( you would make a good 5th columnist ! )
3. John says:

   December 18, 2012 at 7:36 pm

   I hope you never stop! This is one of the best blogs Ive ever read. Youve got some mad skill here, man. I just hope that you dont lose your style because youre dietniefly one of the coolest bloggers out there. Please keep it up because the internet needs someone like you spreading the word.