Ted Obvious reports from Wimbledon: As Andy Murray became the first British tennis player to win Wimbledon since 1936 – I bet you’ll hear this a lot in the next couple of weeks and maybe months or years – a lot of people are celebrating the win as if it had a deep impact on them personally. As in: Yeah, we’ve done it, we’ve won Wimbledon!
All sorts of nonsense will now be said and written about Murray’s heroism, and how he’s done everything humanly possible to get to where he is now, and how his family have stood by him, and how his girlfriend, whatever her name is, has sat through every bloody game he has played, and how now he will earn millions in sponsorship deals and advertising. (God, it’s good to represent a small nation that goes nuts over every sporting achievement and treats its athletes as royalty.)
The Queen has already sent her congratulations to Andy, and Prime Minister David Cameron spoke frankly and passionately about his huge respect for the 2013 Wimbledon champion. Red Ed Miliband, Labour leader, called Murray’s victory a historic and amazing moment for him and the whole nation. And even Alex ‘triple chin’ Salmond of the Scottish National Party said that he was proud of Andy, a Scot who has put Britain on the world map again. Or something along those lines.
Lots and lots of people have expressed their delight and joy over Andy’s win and a book is probably being finished about him as you read this. Because a documentary has already been made by the BBC. It’s called Andy Murray: The Man Behind The Racket, which is an odd title, to be honest, but it’s the thought that counts, as they say.
Now, I don’t want to spoil the party mood but I really have to say something here: steady, nation, it’s only tennis. You can’t really let the cunning politicians fool you with all that British sporting success, so you take your eyes off the ball, figuratively speaking, and lose sight of the more important things like the economy going down the toilet and bankers ripping the country apart and lenders terrorising millions of people with their huge interest rates. Not to mention that you are being spied on by Big Brother and fed dodgy stats about the rate of inflation and the recovery that, in the first case, is about twice as high as the official rate and, in the second case, doesn’t really exist.
You know what I would like to have happened after that men’s final? Andy getting his cup and saying: ‘Thank you, guys, for your support. Have a great Sunday, or what remains of it, now that we’ve done here. And tomorrow go about your business as if nothing has happened. It’s only tennis, people. It’s no big deal really.’
Now that would have been really classy, a champion talking. Because tennis and sport generally are no big deal. Especially as the people involved are getting paid a lot of money these days, so they are already rewarded handsomely. Too handsomely, some people say. Way, way too handsomely, others add.
But, of course, in real life this doesn’t happen. And in the next weeks and months we’ll be hearing a lot, both from Andy and about Andy. And that will eventually spoil everything.