Ben Delicious reports from Gibraltar: In the good old days, when someone tried to steal a bit of territory from Britain, the former Kingdom – yes, Britain is a republic now, in case you wondering – used to flex its military muscles and keep the keys to its property, so to speak. But now, thanks to the once proud British armed forces having been cut down to the bone by the previous treacherous Labour governments and the current no less treacherous ugly hybrid of a coalition of Conservatives and Lib Dems, the former Kingdom has to plead with the European Union, of all places, to keep possession its overseas territory.
Yes, British Prime Minister David Cameron has made a humiliating phone call to the President of the EU Commission, Jose Manuel Barroso, asking him to help to get that pesky Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, to keep his grabby hands off Gibraltar. (In case you’ve missed it, Spain’s government has been making all sorts of noises about Gibraltar, making life difficult for anyone who ventured to cross the Spanish border into the territory by car by, making them wait for hours to pass all the checks. Not to mention other hostile advances.
In less flattering terms, we can put it as follows: Dave got in touch with Jose, complaining that Mariano has deceived him by promising to find the solution to the problem but doing absolutely nothing about it, asking Jose to interfere and tell Mariano to behave himself.
This in itself is so funny that we could just stop here and not bother to tell more. Especially as Dave, in his conversation with Jose, insisted that it was his, Jose’s, responsibility to see to it that everyone in the gang, the EU that is, behaved properly. It’s like: ‘Daddy, Daddy, some nasty boys want to take away my bicycle. Tell them to stop.’ Whatever happened to giving a bully a bloody nose?
But let’s not stop here, if you don’t mind. Mr Cameron, who is secretly terrified of the EU and would love a cushy job in Brussels once he’s kicked out of office, told Mr Barroso that as he, Barosso, was the ‘guardian’ of the EU treaties, he should send his people to the Spanish border with Gibraltar to collect evidence of the bad behaviour of the Spanish.
Pardon me for saying this, but Dave came across from this such a sissy and a wimp that anyone who believes he is prepared to take on Brussels and give the British people the chance to decide whether to leave or stay in the EU must be deluded.
The funniest thing of all is that Barroso told Cameron that the EU Commission ‘would not hesitate’ to act to uphold EU law. Even though everyone knows that Barosso can’t stand Britain and would do anything to make life difficult for its people.
Still, you have to accept that the touchy-feely liberal lot who have been governing Britain for the last 16 years, staring from Tony Blair and his New Labour chums, have only themselves to blame. Obsessed by political correctness, they were apologising for Britain’s ‘past sins’ at every given opportunity, demeaning the nation’s achievements and appeasing former enemies and terrorists. So it was only a matter of time before other countries started demanding that ‘their land’ was returned to them.