Dan Majestic, Ted Obvious and Clara Unpredictable report from Washington, London and Cairo: New evidence has emerged from the computer rooms of the US National Security Agency, or NSA for short, which is working hard these days to prove that all that spying it conducts on everyone makes perfect sense, that al Qaeda top dogs have decided to start blowing up trains and tunnels and rail tracks in France and all across Western Europe, to make a point that Muslim terrorism lives on. According to sources, the NSA, an agency with a budget bigger than the GDP of a decent size European country, has picked up a conference call (!) between al Qaeda leaders, who mentioned trains, tracks, tunnels and even railway stations, but in a very menacing way. The information was quickly processed on a super computer that was supplied by a Chinese company and it became clear that an unspecified threat to the European transport system was in the making. It is now only a matter of time before the NSA’s top team of analysts, which is lacking Ed Snowden, the whistleblower who has ran off abroad, establishes how long the threat will last, for the US government to issue a terror alert and advise all people in France and other places to stop using trains for a while, say, for two or three weeks. Keen watchers of terrorist alerts are saying that this latest development proves that Europeans should thank their lucky stars, and the NSA, that they are being spied on constantly.
Still staying in America: Private first class Bradley Manning, the man who leaked hundreds of thousands of confidential documents to the website WikiLeaks, is looking at 60 years behind bars, if prosecutors at the military tribunal get their way. Manning, who explained his behaviour by having doubts about his sexuality and struggling with the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ arrangement that had existed in the US armed forces at the time of his treachery, told the court martial that he was basically sorry for doing what he did and that he had no idea that he was damaging America’s national interests. Manning, who worked as an intelligence analyst in Iraq, provided some seriously damaging information about the US troops whacking people indiscriminately in that country. The prosecutors at the court martial not only asked for a long prison sentence but also insisted that Manning is fined one hundred grand for his sins and, even more damagingly, lowered in his rank when he is released. Which would be in 2073, when he’d be 85, an age when going down in rank hurts most.
Meanwhile, in Britain Prince William has revealed some of the details about his happy fatherhood that the nation was keenly anticipating. In the interview given more than two weeks ago, Mr Windsor called his son, Prince George, a ‘rascal’, saying that he reminded him of his brother, Prince Harry, an alcoholic and a womaniser, and himself. In a frank and open way the Prince also revealed that young George likes his nappies to be changed regularly, proving that the third in line to the British throne likes to be kept clean and dry. The Prince also disclosed that his son likes to wriggle a lot, and doesn’t sleep all that much, and that Kate, his wife, is doing a fantastic job as a mother. The Duke, and Prince William also has a title of the Duke of Cambridge, also said that he wants his son to grow up as if he was living in Africa, so he plans to get toy elephants and rhinos and lots of artificial bushes placed in his room, so that he gets a taste of life in the wild. When Stirring Trouble contacted the Palace’s press office to find out what Prince William was on when he gave the interview, nobody answered the phone.
To Egypt now where the deposed tyrant, no, not Mohamed Morsi but Hosni Mubarak, will, soon be released from captivity, according to people who know what’s going on in the troubled nation, after successfully managing to defend himself against accusation of ordering to shoot at demonstrators who brought him down in 2011. Mr Mubarak, who had ruled Egypt for as long as anyone can remember, managed to keep the Islamists at bay, while cunningly letting religious minorities live in peace. The former hardman of Egyptian politics, who is now considered the best thing Egypt has ever had, is planning to write an autobiography, warning dictators across the world, who consider America to be their staunch ally, not to trust a single word the devious yanks tell them, suggesting that they, dictators, close all their off shore accounts in areas where Washington has any influence. The book is expected to contain some very critical descriptions of some of the US presidents, including Bill Clinton, George Bush and the current leader, Barack Obama.
To South Africa now where that outstanding athlete, Oscar Pistorius, has been indicted on charges of killing his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkpam, a model, and will face trial in March next year. Mr Pistorius is currently out on bail, having the right to travel the world and take part in all sorts of competitions, and will continue to do so. He is accused of shooting his girlfriend several times, through the door of his bathroom after he woke up at night and heard some noises there, fearing that these were burglars who were after his toiletries. Like any hot blooded athlete, he got out of bed, took his gun, limped to the bathroom door using his strong arms, shooting several time through it at odd angles, to make sure the intruders would be hit. It was only later that he realised that it could have been his girlfriend, and fell into deep despair. The court in Pretoria accepted his earlier explanation of the tragic events, taking into consideration that he is a celebrity and that celebrities think and act in different ways to that of ordinary people.
Finally, it has been revealed that Prime Minister David Cameron has basically conceded defeat in the 2015 general election, in advance, and has already spoken to his cabinet ministers about the possibility of a new coalition with the Liberal Democrats. Mr Cameron, who was hoping that the gay community would provide him with support at the next election, was told recently by LGBT activists that although he gave them same sex marriages, he shouldn’t expect any special favours, as he still needs to deliver many more rights and privileges to them before he can qualify for the same treatment as Tony Blair got. Discouraged by the news, Mr Cameron started talking to his ministers about extending the present coalition arrangement after 2015 and will be hoping to find a receptive ear on the Tory backbenches. Suggestions that the next elections may produce a Con/Lab/LibDem coalition, with three prime ministers heading the government in turns, have been rejected for the time being.