Ted Obvious reports from Buenos Aires: All you lovers of radiation overdose, rejoice! The 2020 Summer Olympics will take place in Tokyo, a city where you can buy two-headed fish and sample some fruit and veg that glow in the dark.
Yes, the International Olympic Committee, gathered in the Argentinian capital, has awarded the 2020 Games to Japan, even though it has a problem with leaking radiation at its state of the art nuclear plant in Fukushima, only 150 miles away from Tokyo, which was damaged during an earthquake and tsunami in 2010. The last word is that it would take a mere 100 years to decontaminate the area and let the locals back. But what is radiation for the Olympic spirit? Nothing, nothing at all. We can actually expect even more diversity among the competitors, with two headed and four legged athletes competing for medals.
It was a close call for Tokyo, with such mighty metropolises as Madrid and Istanbul competing for the 2020 Games. Yes, the one thing that Spain needs now is a great big sport tournament that would cost the nation a fortune at a time of austerity. The way things are going in Spain, even Iraq probably looked like a better option, with Afghanistan coming as second favourite. But the Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy had other ideas and called on the IOC to give Spain a chance. Didn’t work, but he tried.
And then there was Istanbul in Turkey, a country that is currently letting jihadists use its territory to slip into Syria, to fight for freedom and democracy, of which the Turkish government is a great fan. Especially when it was dealing with all those mass protests not so long ago against corruption and all sorts of other sins and when it handled the student protests in Ankara the other day, using tear gas and batton rounds.
Anyway, the IOC decided to opt for high radiation but promises to invest lots of money into the Olympic infrastructure. Especially as during the presentation of the city to the IOC Prime Minister Shinzo Abe made a personal address and assured everyone that the Fukushima nuclear plant was too far from Tokyo to have any people dying. ‘It has never done, and will never do any damage to Tokyo,’ said the man, who was forced from office for being economical with the truth, before returning triumphantly this year.
Japan is not really going through the best of times at the moment, with the myth about its prosperity having taken a knock when that tsunami in 2010 revealed some serious gap in living standards between the lucky few and the many others. But the IOC is pinning its hopes that just like austerity hit Britain found 10 billion plus to spend on the Olympics Japan will cut on its public expenses and fork out a fortune on the Olympic spectacle.
In any case, scenes of wild celebrations were registered yesterday in Tokyo, with some people saying that they have never been happier in their life than when they heard that Tokyo won the Olympic bid. Serves them right then, bloody commies!